The Facebook Clown Police

Oh, how I have wanted to write this blog forever.  However, I have been hesitant.  I know some of you may recognize yourself and I do not want to offend anyone.  However, remember, these are just my opinions.  My opinions should not hurt anyone’s feelings; I should not have that power.  In addition, I am not delusional.  I know very few people read my blog! 

First, let me say overall, I love Facebook!  I truly enjoy hearing what new restaurant you’ve tried, I love seeing your first day of school pictures, vacation pictures and I enjoy reading about funny stories that happen in your everyday life. And contrary to public opinion of FB—I don’t even mind looking at pictures of your food!   I especially enjoy connecting with family and friends that I do not see on a regular basis.  That part of FB has been invaluable to me!  However, I think there should be a Facebook police squad.  They could enforce the rules in a fun way.  When someone breaks a “Facebook” rule a funny clown should appear on their screen with a caption that says “Are you sure you want to post that?”  Look, you are going to read this and say “Who does she think she is?  Do you think we enjoy when she posts an old song from the 80’s? Or, tells us for the 89^th time that she is cleaning her closet?”  I realize I make you all cringe sometimes too.  Facebook has its advantages and disadvantages. 

Here are some of the posts I would include as offenses to Facebook.  I also think you would be given X number of times before the clown pops up.  I do not mind the occasional breaking of the rules, but there are some MEGA repeat offenders out there! We are all human and will post something we later wish we did not.  If the Facebook Clown Police were on the job, maybe we would all harbor fewer regrets. 

Passive/Aggressive Posts

Listen, if you are going to post something, either post the entire story or do not post anything at all.  Better yet, confront the person you have an issue with directly vs. posting it on Facebook.  People create such posts for two reasons:  they want the person they are mad or upset with to see it and they want other people to comment and say things like “you are so nice, how could anyone be mean to you?” Prior to Facebook, where did you get your validation from?  Examples of PA posts:  “I give and I give and I am just taken advantage of” or “Some people never cease to amaze to me.”

Do not air your dirty laundry on Facebook

Remember how above I said tell the entire story? Well, I really didn’t mean it.  Do not air your dirty laundry on Facebook.  If you need to post it, if it makes you feel better just to get it out—post it so only you can see it.  (You can customize every post and specify who can see it).  Hopefully, you will feel the cathartic release you need—but you will not be subjecting your dirty laundry for all to see.  Think about it, would you stand in your town center and scream the details out loud for all to hear?  That is what you are doing on FB.  Let’s face it—you do not really have 400 close friends.  Many of those friends are simply acquaintances or people you have not seen since the third grade! 

Seflies! Aagh!

Okay, if you are older than 15—STOP with the selfies.  Seriously, if you want people to tell you how pretty you are or how young you look—just ask them.  I suppose a few selfies in a year is not a bad thing—but the typical selfie poster posts a new selfie at least once a week!  Seriously, when I turn on my camera and it is in selfie mode—I scream!!!  I scare myself! It is one thing if you are taking a selfie with the Lincoln Monument or Mt. Rushmore in the background—that is cool—but when you are by yourself in your living room?  I don’t get it. Especially when the next day a new one comes up—and guess what?  You are by yourself in your living room.

Chill With the Share Button

There should be a limit on how many “shares” a person can post a day. I would cap it at two.  I know people who reach at least 10 in a day.   I literally do not even read them anymore (or maybe ever).  If it is a quote, cartoon, etc. I just keep scrolling.  I will click on something once I’ve noticed a few people have posted it.  We know you love your kids, your sisters, your brothers, your cousins, your plumbers and newspaper carriers.  No need to post a lengthy quote to prove it.  If you are feeling a special kinship to a friend or loved one—post it to their wall or send them a private message--this will mean something to them. Better yet, use your own words to express how you feel.   Also, for you passive aggressive posters, no need to post the passive aggressive cartoons/quotes to express how frustrated you are with a friend or partner.  We already gleamed that through your posts!!!  (This also includes hot bodies, cute animals and all the jokes about how stupid people are!)

The Secretive Posts

Look, if you do not want the world of Facebook to know the details, just private message the person. A typical secretive post:  “I had great time last night with an old friend.  You know who you are.”  If this is JUST for that person, why are you sending it to ALL of your friends?  Just text the person or send them a private message.  I am sure that would mean so much more to them.  The friend you went out with is probably saying to themselves “I saw her last night, but I wonder if she is talking about me.  She could’ve seen another old friend yesterday too.”  Do not be ambiguous.  Either say it or don’t.

Commenting on Political and Religious Posts

I am not advocating ending all political and religious posts.  I am simply advocating kindness and respect when your opinion differs from others that are posting.  I think it is better to avoid these posts all together—and I typically take the approach that if I agree I will say so but if I disagree, I will pass on posting.  (This may not always be the case, but I try to use this approach.) For the most part, I witness respect more than disrespect—but when the latter is evident—it can get ugly.  What is hard with Facebook is you can't read inflection or tone and things can easily be misinterpreted.  So this is just the Hill Street Blues mantra….be careful out there!   (Yes, I am old.  I just quoted Hill Street Blues. Look it up kids.)

 

Negative Posts

Okay, I truly hesitated with this one because I feel two faced.  I feel like this is a negative blog--and I really do not like to be negative.  I am talking about the posts similar to this: “People are so annoying, I just don’t think there are any nice people left.”  Just take a deep breath and reflect.  I am sure you meet more nice people during your day than annoying people.  I know I do.   People are good.  Life is good. 

 

So, there it is.  I hope you are not offended or put off—just my two cents.   Some of you are now typing your “Blog Police Enforcement Rules”.    I get it, I get it!  I just hope you are not all wondering, is she talking about me?  If you are, no it is definitely not you!!  Enjoy your day!

 

 

Hi Friend! Do you really want to post that?

 

 

I'll Admit it, I Am Not A Fan of "Girls"

I so wanted to like this show.  I have now sat through 5 episodes and I don’t care if I see another.  Let’s just get the sex out of the way.  Yes, I think it is unnecessarily graphic; however, that is not why I dislike the show.  I could look past the ridiculous sex scenes and references if the characters were likable or funny.  (As the show is billed as a comedy.)  I find it to be dark and depressing with moments of comedy.  I went on to IMDB to read some reviews to see if anyone else felt like I did.  Funny, one person said she loved the first four episodes and thought it was very funny, and then it just got dark and depressing.  I don’t know-- it started out that way for me.

First, I understand how people in their twenties find it relatable from the perspective of relationships.  I get it.  I was once in my twenties.  I let a guy string me along because of his charm even though we broke up over and over again.  I look back and think, why did I stay in that relationship?  However, (to touch on the sex once more) I also grew up post the sexual revolution and I hope the way sex is treated on this show is truly not indicative of all people in their twenties.   Again, the sex alone is not why I am not attracted to DVR this show or watch the remaining episodes of season 1.  Whether I am reading a book or watching a movie or a show—I need to like the characters.  I semi-like Hannah (Lena Dunham’s character) I think I would like her more if we did not see her spoiled attitude towards her parents during the first episode.  When her parents delcared that after almost two years they were not going to pay her rent, her cell phone bills and give her spending money anymore, Hannah was stunned. WHAT???  You ungrateful BIATCH!  Why are your parents footing the bill for your life?  I guess this is more common these days compared to when I was in my twenties.  I would’ve been mortified to ask my parents to pay my bills.  In college, I did not even ask them to pay for Spring Break like many college students did, I just didn’t go.  I finally went my senior year, when I saved the money for it.  The thing is, they probably would’ve found a way to pay—but I would never have asked.  I think paying for my college education was quite enough.  So, episode one turned me off a bit to her.  I think if I started on episode two, I would feel more compassion towards her.  (Swirl Girl's kids:  I will happily pay your rent, the catch is, you have to be living under my roof.)

I also semi like Marnie and I actually do like Shoshanna.  However, they almost make her too cartoon like.  I dislike the British cousin and I despise Adam.  I was strung along by charm in my twenties.  Hannah mentioned that Adam’s charm strings her along.   What charm?  Perhaps I was completely blind too.  Adam does not have one redeeming quality about him.  He is rude, hurtful and completely vapid.  Watching Dunham’s character continually get reeled in by him and to not be true to herself  because of him is gut-wrenching and/or simply just annoying.  As for Charlie,  I just feel bad for him, not sure how I feel about him.

Is it a comedy?  I think it is a slice of life that shows the depressing side more than happy side. This is okay.  Depressing can be funny.  However, I don’t think they succeed.  So, if it was not billed as a comedy, I might also have a different perspective.  So far, in five episodes, my favorite scene was when Charlie and his band mate sang Hannah’s diary in front of them.  I thought that was sad, but also a tad humorous.

I also read a review that mentioned how surprised the writer was that a bunch of manly men she knew (the way she put it) also liked the show.  Honey, they are not interested in the dialogue—they are interested in the sex.  It is porn they do not have to pay for.  So, now that is the third time I’ve mentioned the sex.  Honestly, not the biggest issue I have with the show.  I’m just saying, I can see why some guys in their twenties will not mind sitting through this with their girlfriends. 

Almost every review mentioned how this was the anti Sex and the City as if Sex and the City is a bad disease you would not want to catch.  The main reason they say this is the anti SATC is because this is a true depiction of women in their 20’s living in NYC. They are broke and trying to find their way.  The SATC ladies led a bit more glamorous lifestyle.  The Girls ladies may be broke, but when parents are paying their way, how broke are they?  Also, let’s remember Sex and the City was about women in their late thirties and forties.  Perhaps Hannah and Marnie will be successful in ten years and able to afford their own apartment.  I cannot afford Minolo Blahnik’s like Carrie, but I could still relate to the friendships she had with the other ladies.  Carrie was also strung along by Mr. Big.  The difference is, they gave Mr. Big some likeable qualities and a mystery.  You always felt like he truly did like Carrie but was afraid of something.  Adam shows no signs of truly liking Hannah.  Aside from the back drop of Manhattan and the story being about friends, why do we have to compare the shows? (I know I just spent a good number of characters comparing the two, I guess it is easy to do.) I just figured out why—they each line up to one of the characters.  Hannah = Carrie.  Marnie = Miranda.  Shoshanna  = Charlotte (ironically, also almost cartoon like.  Seriously, who would wear some of those buttoned up shirts Charlotte wore?)  Lastly, British girl = Samantha. Okay, I will stop now.

I guess the last thing that bothers me about how popular the show is….do people just like anything because it is edgy?  Edgy is not always quality.  Oh and don’t tell me it is a typical Judd Apatow production, because I am a fan of Judd’s so I know what typical Judd is. At this point, I should have the desire to keep watching to see: when Hannah will finally rid herself of Adam, if Marnie and Charlie will finally break up (poor nice guy Charlie); will Shoshanna lose her virginity and will the British girl truly find her self-respect that she so proudly wears as a badge.

 

  I will say, whether I like it or not, I am happy for Lena Dunham’s success.  I think it is great that a female is making such a strong mark in the world of television.  Also, I have to like her, Mary Tyler Moore is also one of her all-time favorite shows! We share that.