WARNING! WARNING!!! This rambling is truly a rambling! I’m all over the place—so please forgive me now!!
Do I have a point or am I just becoming a curmudgeon? Here are some of the items I’m fired up about:
•The dismantling of the American family due to an increasing movement in our culture to push our kids to do more and more and more. Activities and educational demands are taking time away from the family unit.
•The increasing emphasis on rigor in our school systems vs. an emphasis on actual learning.
•High expectations of our youth
The American Family
Is it just me, or do you feel like true family unit time is dwindling due to running in eight million directions with your children, yourself, etc? I do. Also, this year, my kids have so much schoolwork, I feel like I never see them. The struggle I have is the forces that are causing the dismantling are all “positive” forces, so we just try to make the best of it! It boils down to activities AND education. Activities for children are very positive –they build social skills, keep kids busy, etc. Education—well we all know why an education is important.
In the 21st century—activities and education split up the family unit. Families are running in at least 3 different directions. I only have two kids, so we only run in 4 different directions. (Yes, parents have a life too—so you have to count their activities, be it for work or for fun.) I have friends running in 5, 6 and 7 different directions! As a family, you can control activities, but even with control and rules (e.g. one activity at a time), it still becomes crazy. I think part of it is because our nice little activities are becoming more and more demanding. For example, the “youth” cheerleaders in our town that cheer for “youth” football, were required to sign a contract this year. The contract stated that they will not miss more than 2 or 3 practices. These girls are as young as 10 years old. I understand the importance of “team” work and that in a sport like cheerleading with stunting—you need to have everyone there to maximize practice. However, life happens—kids get sick, kids have SCHOOL projects that take precedent over cheerleading and let us not forget…they are CHILDREN!!! I think the first contract I signed was my mortgage! This is just one minor example.
High school sports are a totally different story. I was a high school athlete. I was extremely competitive. However, my philosophy in all aspects of life is not to take yourself so seriously that you lose perspective of the bigger picture in life. I am so thankful my daughters do not play a winter sport. We spend at least four days out of state over the holidays visiting the in-laws. If my daughters played basketball, this would become an issue. You are required to attend practices during this time. I refuse to give up that family time for a high school sport. If my kids were playing Division 1 in college, I would get it. A college sport is the equivalent of having a job. A high school sport should not be. I also do not want to hear that you are preparing these kids for college sports. Let’s face it, only 10%, of the kids who play high school sports will play at some level in college(I suspect that statistic may be generous.) If a parent decides family comes first, the student athletes get punished for the decisions of their parents.
Education – Time and Rigor
I think you all understand the activity issue. Let’s move to education. I feel like an emphasis on “rigor” has replaced the emphasis on “learning.” I care more about my kids learning vs. how they learn or how hard they work to learn. Our school stresses the importance of taking AP classes. So my daughter chose to take AP History. She was so stressed out the first two weeks of school, I agreed to let her drop it. I believe if you are taking an AP course, it should be tougher than a non-AP course. However, I don’t think kids should be spending 10- 15 hours a week on homework for one class. I’m sorry, I don’t. I think kids should have down time. Everyone says, “well it is a college level course.” Do you know how much downtime you have in college? You only go to class for 15 hours a week. College students have a lot more time to manage! So, she dropped it—not because she wasn’t doing well (she wasn’t, but that was not my driver) she was just too stressed about it. I felt like it wasn’t worth it. Did I teach her the right thing by letting her drop it? I think so. I don’t think she is going to give up anytime things get stressful. I hope I gave her a lesson on perspective. I asked her if she felt at all like she was “quitting.” She said “Mom, I’m a 14 year old who was struggling with a college level course. No.”. I think that is a good perspective. I learned so much about history in high school. A shout out to Mr. Harvey and Mr. Dakin—who I thought were great teachers. I don’t remember ever stressing about their classes and I STILL remember everything I LEARNED. The AP class curriculum focuses on the AP exam. All schools want their students to do well on the AP exam—great for school statistics. I think anytime we are teaching to a specific test—we take the creativity out of learning.
This brings me to another point: tight curriculums. Districts now have curriculum specialists for each subject. The curriculum for each subject is specific. I think that is great—all children should learn the same information. However, I think we are taking the creativity out of teaching when the curriculum is so specific that projects and tests are the same across classes. I understand the purpose of this approach is to protect fairness. I’m all for fairness-but let us figure out a way to measure fairness while allowing teachers to be creative with their curriculum. (Don't get me started on teacher evaluations and unions, etc.)
I have a more recent beef with group projects. If a teacher is going to assign a group project—they should allow two weekends to get it done. Both of my girls received a group project that was assigned on a Wednesday and due the next Wednesday. Now, if you have kids involved in activities (approximately 50% of students in their school are involved in an everyday afterschool activity)—they can’t meet during the week. So, that leaves the weekend. All I can say is thank goodness we didn’t have a wedding or any other family obligation this weekend. They both met with their groups for 5 hours each and neither group finished the project in 5 hours. The project involved making a video—so if you have not dabbled in creating and editing videos—you have that learning curve to deal with. I have to say, after spending at a minimum of 7-9 hours on this project—I’ll be ticked if they do not get a good grade. Sometimes time and effort on a project like this should be worth something! One daughter was lucky to be in a group with someone who has editing experience. My other daughter was not that lucky. She took on the editing herself. She did a nice job for her first video, but I’m sure it is not as clean and stylish as others with more experience. If it was for a video class, that would be fine. It is for a Spanish class. Don’t get me wrong, I love the assignment, it is fun and creative. It is just difficult to manage the group timing with only one weekend involved. So, back to the original point of this blog. This project took approximately 7-8 weekend hours away from our life as a family. (Truthfully, it took longer for the beginner editor.)
I think teachers assume kids, especially teenagers, have complete control over the life. Sorry, but as a parent, I still have control. They still rely on me to drive them to a friend’s house to work on a project or they need me to offer our house as the place to work on the project. It takes the entire family (and usually a village) to make the family unit work. One teacher said, “you all have Tuesday off from school, so you also have time them.” Well, yes, many schools have Election Day off, but most parents do not have Election Day off. This makes it difficult for the student who has two working parents and you live in a town too big to walk to your friend’s house.
Now back to rigor and learning. I feel like there is a desire to just make students jump through hoops because “we” think it builds character and teaches great study habits. I do not necessarily subscribe to this theory. I think a focus on rigor makes students rush to get all of their work done to just get it done. They study for a test or research a project and then poof it is gone from their head when the class is completed. As someone pointed out, quantity does not equal quality! Of course, I do not have any studies to support my theories. It is all observational and anecdotal. I’m sure I could find statistics to support MY theory; however, I’m also confident if you disagree with me, you could find statistics to support YOUR theory. For all you teachers out there—I’m not blaming you. I think parents are to blame too. I don’t know what it is about our generation, but they it seems like everyone thinks their kids should be going to an Ivy League school. I’ve mentioned this in previous blogs how I think “we” as parents can be a CRAZY. (Read “My Quest to Raise Achievers” my blog from February.)
I’d also like to see more of a focus on critical thinking skills. Class discussion is a great tool for critical thinking. Essays are a great tool for critical thinking. I do not think kids have the critical thinking skills we acquired as students. I love the phrase “stepping over dollars to get to dimes” when it comes to running a business or personal money management. I’d like to find an equivalent analogy for our educational system. I think this is what we are doing sometimes. (It is similar to thinking that banning toys from Happy Meals will actually help childhood obesity! Let’s find “a” solution vs. finding the “right” solution.)
I know many people subscribe to the theory that we need to be tougher on our kids so that when they are in the “real” world they can keep up with the worldwide market. I debated with a friend who believes school should be year round. Seriously? Ugh, I think I’d have to home school if it came to that. It is such a natural reaction to do what others are doing because it works for them, instead of thinking creatively to make things work within your own boundaries. (Also, if you think of a true balance in life--is it really working for "them".) Let our kids be kids. Hey adults: is our world so wonderful that we want the kids to join it earlier? NO!!! Let them have this wonderful time in their life. Give them the gift of time, the gift of learning form mistakes, the gift of family!
I've said it before, and I will say it again...I want my kids to have a happy, balanced life. Is that too much to ask?
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Bullying
My heart breaks for the families of those who have lost loved ones to bullying. My heart especially breaks for those that are gone. Oh, if they just waited it out a few years—they would see that life does get better. I always say to people: this problem you are facing, whatever it is, is just a blip on the long life you are going to live. I know it is hard to see that when you are in the middle of your own crisis.
I truly feel that our internet, video game, reality TV shows culture has exacerbated the issue of bullying. The “bullies” are more desensitized and don’t understand consequences. I do not mean consequences to themselves—but to their victims.
I think our world of “disconnecting” from everyone, by that I mean our world of texting, email, social network communication, playing video games non-stop, etc. creates a wall between our “virtual” life and our “real” life. I think those born after 1993 have a hard time distinguishing between those lives. I think reality TV adds to this too because we see people exposing their personal and many times intimate moments for all to see. So, this generation thinks nothing of sharing personal, intimate, private moments. (Their own private moments or their friends’). Our society also rewards bad behavior. Hey—do something stupid—become a star! Get your own show—make lots of money! I’m just as caught up in new technology as a 13 year old girl. However, I have the benefit of growing up before the technology existed. I have “seen” how words and action hurt people.
I love Anderson Cooper and I rarely disagree with him. However, the other day he was speaking about the Rutgers suicide victim and the “bully” in that case. The roommate who so callously posted such an intimate moment on the internet may be facing “hate” crime charges. Anderson said someone who knew the person said he would’ve posted the video even if his roommate was with a woman. Anderson disagreed; he feels it was really because he was with a man. I think that could be true. However, I think our society has become so desensitized to privacy that the “jerk” of a roommate may have posted it even if it was with a woman. The sad thing about our culture is I definitely think he would’ve posted it if it was a woman who is considered a “less” desirable in our culture. He probably would think that is “funny” too. The other sad thing about our culture is that if he broadcast his roommate with the”hottest” girl on campus—the kid would’ve been a legend. That is sad.
I think bullies prey on any perceived vulnerability. I think there are those who pick on LGBT kids because their own values may think that is not appropriate—but I think for the most part—when they are bulling anyone—it has nothing to do with their belief system. It is because bullying gives them a sense of power. So, I’m not sure all these bullies are against LGBT kids—they just want to make themselves feel strong and powerful. It is their sad insecurities that foster their behavior. Bullies prey on anything not in the norm of our culture—maybe you are gay, maybe you’re overweight, maybe you do not wear the right labels, or you wear the same clothes every day, maybe you are too tall, too short, too smart, —whatever the vulnerability is—the bully will find it.
So, as adults and mentors—we need to do address two issues. Stop the bullies and build self-esteem in those that are bullied so that they can stand up to the bullies or at least not let the bullying hurt them so much so that they are taking their own lives. It is so senseless. We also need to teach our children not to be bystanders. Anderson made this point—he said he was never picked on—but he was a bystander. We need to teach our kids to not sit by and watch kids get bullied. They do not need to put themselves in danger, but they need to show the bullied kid support.
Many people say there is more bullying now, many say, no it has always been this bad. I think bullying has always existed however, with the internet, cell phones and other technology the level to which a victim can be humiliated is ten-fold.
I was picked on for developing too early. To this day I am self-conscious about that. I remember the first day I wore a bra during the 5th grade. My table partner, who was a 4th grade boy --Alan—pointed and shouted “She is wearing a bra!” I was mortified. From that day on, I always wore zippered sweatshirts and if I couldn’t, I always had my arms crossed in front of my chest. I tried to downplay it any way I could. I still do actually. If that was in today’s day and age, what if Alan had a cell phone and took a close up picture and sent it to everyone? Instead of 10 people hearing his exclamation—everyone would’ve known I was the first girl to wear a bra. The teasing continued for a few years. I won’t share the comments I heard all too often. Sounds like a trivial issue to most of you—but that was my vulnerability then. My point is....in the big picture of life being picked on for this is not a big deal..however...only the person being picked on can determine how big of a deal it is.
Again I digress, and I actually don’t know if I will keep that personal item in. (I know I should—but it is still embarrassing to me). We need to empower the children in our lives to be proud of whom they are and accept their differences. We need to let them know that differences during one period of their life become blessings during other periods of their lives.
Spread tolerance and most of all...spread kindness.
I truly feel that our internet, video game, reality TV shows culture has exacerbated the issue of bullying. The “bullies” are more desensitized and don’t understand consequences. I do not mean consequences to themselves—but to their victims.
I think our world of “disconnecting” from everyone, by that I mean our world of texting, email, social network communication, playing video games non-stop, etc. creates a wall between our “virtual” life and our “real” life. I think those born after 1993 have a hard time distinguishing between those lives. I think reality TV adds to this too because we see people exposing their personal and many times intimate moments for all to see. So, this generation thinks nothing of sharing personal, intimate, private moments. (Their own private moments or their friends’). Our society also rewards bad behavior. Hey—do something stupid—become a star! Get your own show—make lots of money! I’m just as caught up in new technology as a 13 year old girl. However, I have the benefit of growing up before the technology existed. I have “seen” how words and action hurt people.
I love Anderson Cooper and I rarely disagree with him. However, the other day he was speaking about the Rutgers suicide victim and the “bully” in that case. The roommate who so callously posted such an intimate moment on the internet may be facing “hate” crime charges. Anderson said someone who knew the person said he would’ve posted the video even if his roommate was with a woman. Anderson disagreed; he feels it was really because he was with a man. I think that could be true. However, I think our society has become so desensitized to privacy that the “jerk” of a roommate may have posted it even if it was with a woman. The sad thing about our culture is I definitely think he would’ve posted it if it was a woman who is considered a “less” desirable in our culture. He probably would think that is “funny” too. The other sad thing about our culture is that if he broadcast his roommate with the”hottest” girl on campus—the kid would’ve been a legend. That is sad.
I think bullies prey on any perceived vulnerability. I think there are those who pick on LGBT kids because their own values may think that is not appropriate—but I think for the most part—when they are bulling anyone—it has nothing to do with their belief system. It is because bullying gives them a sense of power. So, I’m not sure all these bullies are against LGBT kids—they just want to make themselves feel strong and powerful. It is their sad insecurities that foster their behavior. Bullies prey on anything not in the norm of our culture—maybe you are gay, maybe you’re overweight, maybe you do not wear the right labels, or you wear the same clothes every day, maybe you are too tall, too short, too smart, —whatever the vulnerability is—the bully will find it.
So, as adults and mentors—we need to do address two issues. Stop the bullies and build self-esteem in those that are bullied so that they can stand up to the bullies or at least not let the bullying hurt them so much so that they are taking their own lives. It is so senseless. We also need to teach our children not to be bystanders. Anderson made this point—he said he was never picked on—but he was a bystander. We need to teach our kids to not sit by and watch kids get bullied. They do not need to put themselves in danger, but they need to show the bullied kid support.
Many people say there is more bullying now, many say, no it has always been this bad. I think bullying has always existed however, with the internet, cell phones and other technology the level to which a victim can be humiliated is ten-fold.
I was picked on for developing too early. To this day I am self-conscious about that. I remember the first day I wore a bra during the 5th grade. My table partner, who was a 4th grade boy --Alan—pointed and shouted “She is wearing a bra!” I was mortified. From that day on, I always wore zippered sweatshirts and if I couldn’t, I always had my arms crossed in front of my chest. I tried to downplay it any way I could. I still do actually. If that was in today’s day and age, what if Alan had a cell phone and took a close up picture and sent it to everyone? Instead of 10 people hearing his exclamation—everyone would’ve known I was the first girl to wear a bra. The teasing continued for a few years. I won’t share the comments I heard all too often. Sounds like a trivial issue to most of you—but that was my vulnerability then. My point is....in the big picture of life being picked on for this is not a big deal..however...only the person being picked on can determine how big of a deal it is.
Again I digress, and I actually don’t know if I will keep that personal item in. (I know I should—but it is still embarrassing to me). We need to empower the children in our lives to be proud of whom they are and accept their differences. We need to let them know that differences during one period of their life become blessings during other periods of their lives.
Spread tolerance and most of all...spread kindness.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Relationships--X's and Grass
Ex’s and Feelings
For those of you who spend valuable time in front of the tube watching “real” people make life changing decisions before your eyes—you’ll understand the genesis for this topic. Recently, on an episode of the edgy, artsy show we call “The Bachelorette” a bachelor discovered he still had feelings for his ex and could not continue on the show. (I believe this was revealed just prior to “the most dramatic rose ceremony yet”). So, here is the deal. Frank breaks up with Nicole (allegedly—because truth be told, I believe he had this all planned out ahead of time—but I will write my little story as if it happens as he says.) After the breakup, Frank decides to find his true love on the ABC hit show “The Bachelorette”. He is cast and meets Ally, our adorably cute bachelorette. Frank and Ally have instant chemistry. So much so, that Frank becomes quite whiny when he does not get to spend time with her. He already feels as if Ally is his girlfriend and hates that he has to share her with other potential lifetime partners. Frank makes it to the final three. After all, they are falling in love. Frank, who has been pining over Ally for weeks and could think only of Ally—suddenly remembers Nicole. His actual quote (almost actual—I’m not so invested to hit the rewind button on the DVR) “Falling in love with Ally, made me realize I still had feelings for Nicole.” WHAT? Okay Frank, you had me until that statement. WHAT? Falling in love with Ally made you realize you still had feelings with Nicole? That does not make one BIT of sense. I get having feelings for past love interests. I believe it is actually normal to have feelings for past love interests EVEN when you are in love with someone else--especially, if the break up was mutual without any dramatic stories worthy of “Cheaters.” (Seriously, I don’t even watch that show. I do have a line people!)
I will admit to having lingering feelings for ex’s. They may be feelings of disdain, disgust and bitterness, but feelings none the less! Just kidding!! My beef with his comment is—when you are in the midst of falling in love with someone (butterflies, daydreaming, the good type of anxiety, etc.) you are NOT remembering your feelings for your EX. That is actually when you are forgetting about your EX!!! (This is why I think Frank masterminded this whole scenario and Nicole was in on it. However, I remember my blog on benefit of the doubt—I will keep that in mind!)
So this scenario leads to another question… Is the Grass Greener…..?
Relationships are not easy. However, when things get rough, I’d like to remind you of the phrase: The grass is always greener on the other side. It seems lately I’ve known some friends who are curious about the grass on the other side. I think people wonder about the Kentucky Blue grass vs. Bermuda grass for a few reasons:
1) They wonder if they still have it. They look in the mirror and see someone they may not recognize. I know I do. A few extra pounds and wrinkles and you don’t believe the person in the mirror is still you. I’m not even saying you once thought you were great looking, but you just don’t look like the vision of “you” that is still in your head from your teens or twenties. I never used to hate having my picture taken, but now I do. Probably my biggest motivation for getting back into shape is seeing current pictures of myself. (Wow a big digression….) Anyways, my point is--for some, if they are in a situation and someone new flirts with them—it probably makes them feel pretty good. Or as Larry David might say….”preetttay, pretty, pretty good.” I think it is natural to enjoy a little flirting--but be careful. Your sig other may not “flirt” with you anymore, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you. And let’s face it, after awhile the new person won’t flirt with you anymore either.
2) They are truly struggling in their marriage. It happens. People grow apart or sometimes life throws in too many distractions that keep a couple apart too often. Whatever the reason, I think it is worth working on the original relationship. Mr. or Ms. Flirty might look good right now, but after a few dates, more time together…that initial attraction may/will fizzle. Many relationships cannot be salvaged, and that is okay. There is no shame in that. People change and grow. I’m just saying; don’t give up years of a relationship for Mr./Ms. Flirty right away.
3) Of course there is always the “ego” reason—or more commonly known as “Tiger” complex. No need to delve into that reason.
So who knows? I’m just saying don’t be hasty. However, I do think you should be happy. I don’t think it is healthy to stay in a relationship that brings you down. I can only hope and pray that Frank is truly happy with Nicole. If not, I’m sure we’ll see him on Season 2 of The Bachelor Pad. (God help us if season 1 is a hit!)
For those of you who spend valuable time in front of the tube watching “real” people make life changing decisions before your eyes—you’ll understand the genesis for this topic. Recently, on an episode of the edgy, artsy show we call “The Bachelorette” a bachelor discovered he still had feelings for his ex and could not continue on the show. (I believe this was revealed just prior to “the most dramatic rose ceremony yet”). So, here is the deal. Frank breaks up with Nicole (allegedly—because truth be told, I believe he had this all planned out ahead of time—but I will write my little story as if it happens as he says.) After the breakup, Frank decides to find his true love on the ABC hit show “The Bachelorette”. He is cast and meets Ally, our adorably cute bachelorette. Frank and Ally have instant chemistry. So much so, that Frank becomes quite whiny when he does not get to spend time with her. He already feels as if Ally is his girlfriend and hates that he has to share her with other potential lifetime partners. Frank makes it to the final three. After all, they are falling in love. Frank, who has been pining over Ally for weeks and could think only of Ally—suddenly remembers Nicole. His actual quote (almost actual—I’m not so invested to hit the rewind button on the DVR) “Falling in love with Ally, made me realize I still had feelings for Nicole.” WHAT? Okay Frank, you had me until that statement. WHAT? Falling in love with Ally made you realize you still had feelings with Nicole? That does not make one BIT of sense. I get having feelings for past love interests. I believe it is actually normal to have feelings for past love interests EVEN when you are in love with someone else--especially, if the break up was mutual without any dramatic stories worthy of “Cheaters.” (Seriously, I don’t even watch that show. I do have a line people!)
I will admit to having lingering feelings for ex’s. They may be feelings of disdain, disgust and bitterness, but feelings none the less! Just kidding!! My beef with his comment is—when you are in the midst of falling in love with someone (butterflies, daydreaming, the good type of anxiety, etc.) you are NOT remembering your feelings for your EX. That is actually when you are forgetting about your EX!!! (This is why I think Frank masterminded this whole scenario and Nicole was in on it. However, I remember my blog on benefit of the doubt—I will keep that in mind!)
So this scenario leads to another question… Is the Grass Greener…..?
Relationships are not easy. However, when things get rough, I’d like to remind you of the phrase: The grass is always greener on the other side. It seems lately I’ve known some friends who are curious about the grass on the other side. I think people wonder about the Kentucky Blue grass vs. Bermuda grass for a few reasons:
1) They wonder if they still have it. They look in the mirror and see someone they may not recognize. I know I do. A few extra pounds and wrinkles and you don’t believe the person in the mirror is still you. I’m not even saying you once thought you were great looking, but you just don’t look like the vision of “you” that is still in your head from your teens or twenties. I never used to hate having my picture taken, but now I do. Probably my biggest motivation for getting back into shape is seeing current pictures of myself. (Wow a big digression….) Anyways, my point is--for some, if they are in a situation and someone new flirts with them—it probably makes them feel pretty good. Or as Larry David might say….”preetttay, pretty, pretty good.” I think it is natural to enjoy a little flirting--but be careful. Your sig other may not “flirt” with you anymore, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you. And let’s face it, after awhile the new person won’t flirt with you anymore either.
2) They are truly struggling in their marriage. It happens. People grow apart or sometimes life throws in too many distractions that keep a couple apart too often. Whatever the reason, I think it is worth working on the original relationship. Mr. or Ms. Flirty might look good right now, but after a few dates, more time together…that initial attraction may/will fizzle. Many relationships cannot be salvaged, and that is okay. There is no shame in that. People change and grow. I’m just saying; don’t give up years of a relationship for Mr./Ms. Flirty right away.
3) Of course there is always the “ego” reason—or more commonly known as “Tiger” complex. No need to delve into that reason.
So who knows? I’m just saying don’t be hasty. However, I do think you should be happy. I don’t think it is healthy to stay in a relationship that brings you down. I can only hope and pray that Frank is truly happy with Nicole. If not, I’m sure we’ll see him on Season 2 of The Bachelor Pad. (God help us if season 1 is a hit!)
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Movie Time
What are your favorite movies? I struggle with pinpointing my very favorite movies. There are movies that I love and can watch over and over again--that are favorites. However, there are also movies that I absolutely love, but don't really watch them over and over again. I broke my faves into categories--check them out and let me know what you think. At the end I finally condense it into an overall Top 10.
FAVORITE COMEDIES
The Hangover (I think it has all been said--check out earlier blog)
Young Frankenstein ("ain't go no body, ain't got no body")
Russians are Coming; Russians are Coming (I have mentioned my Alan Arkin crush, right?)
Bull Durham (So many classic scenes...pitcher's mound dilemna--wedding gifts, chickens, etc.)
Best Friends (I'm sorry, I love a Burt Reynolds' movie! Pair him with Goldie Hawn and you have a classic!)
Super Dad (Okay, does anyone remember this movie? Disney? Kurt Russell? I haven't seen it since I was 10, but I remember falling off my chair in the movie theater with laughter!!)
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? (The story, the writing, the acting--truly superb!)
Diner (Classic lines, classic story of friendships!)
Office Space (Did you hand in your TPS reports yet?)
Willy Wonka (I'm not sure this is a comedy, but it is a movie masterpiece!)
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (Not a true comedy--but the scenes between father and son are comic genius!)
FAVORITE DRAMA
The Hurt Locker (Is this a surprise to anyone who knows me or reads my blog?)
Do The Right Thing (Another masterpiece, writing, directing, acting....)
Boyz in the Hood (Movie stands alone--but the fact it is John Singleton's first movie--incredible. I could also put in my category "movies that make me sob")
Field of Dreams (Baseball, Costner and inspiration...)
Friday Night Lights (I love a sports movie--this one represents all that I love!)
To Kill A Mockingbird (How can you not love this movie and Gregory Peck?)
To Sir With Love (How do you thank someone who has taken you from crayons to perfume?)
Cool Hand Like (Great writing, acting and directing)
The Big Chill (I can't even think of college without this thinking of this movie. So many great lines...)
Chariots of Fire (This movie falls into the "I love this movie" category but I don't typically watch it over and over)
The Right Stuff (Love an astronaut story...love Sam Shepherd in this movie)
FAVORITE ROMANCE MOVIES
Roman Holiday (Simply the best romance movie EVER!! Peck and Hepburn? Love them!)
High Society (Most prefer the original "Philadelphia Story"--I love that one too but saw "High Society" first. I think Bing Crosby is at his best in this film!)
Love Actually (One of my absolute faves! Every story is enchanting or heartbreaking)
American President ("I am Andrew Shepherd. And I AM your President!")
Breaking Away (Okay, so this isn't a romance--but originally this category was romance or comedy/drama. Classic film of the haves and have nots!)
Cat Ballou (Lee Marvin is fantastic in this movie!)
Valley Girl (Randy and Julie--a modern love story with a great soundtrack!)
Chasing Liberty (Stop laughing, I know this one is corny--but I LOVE it! I love Mattew Goode too!)
Say Anything (If you guys know so much about women, why are you at the Gas n Sip on a Saturday night? Choice man, choice!)
That Touch of Mink I love a Doris Day movie--I love them all!)
Father Goose (Couldn't leave this Cary Grant movie off the list)
MOVIES THAT MAKE ME SOB
Champ (I don't think I've ever made through the scene with Ricky Shroeder balling without balling myself!)
I Am Sam (I cry every time--especially when she is with the "new" family.)
Brian’s Song (Classic sports movie with a lovely tale of friendship!)
My Girl (These kids will get you every time!)
Butch and Sundance (You just keep rooting for them!)
Bang th Drum Slowly (This movie is so underrated-great acting!)
West Side Story (Somewhere a place for us...sniffle, sniffle)
Independence Day (Great action flick with touching scenes.)
Mister Roberts (Why oh why does someone as great as Mister Roberts have to die!?)
Rocket Gilbraltar (A great movie about families!)
Pay It Forward (I've only seen it once, but I sobbed!!)
I'm sure I left out plenty of movies that I love.
MY OVERALL TOP TEN
Hangover
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner
Roman Holiday
High Society
Valley Girl
Love Actually
Breaking Away OR The Hurt Locker
Bull Durham
The Big Chill
Do The Right Thing
FAVORITE COMEDIES
The Hangover (I think it has all been said--check out earlier blog)
Young Frankenstein ("ain't go no body, ain't got no body")
Russians are Coming; Russians are Coming (I have mentioned my Alan Arkin crush, right?)
Bull Durham (So many classic scenes...pitcher's mound dilemna--wedding gifts, chickens, etc.)
Best Friends (I'm sorry, I love a Burt Reynolds' movie! Pair him with Goldie Hawn and you have a classic!)
Super Dad (Okay, does anyone remember this movie? Disney? Kurt Russell? I haven't seen it since I was 10, but I remember falling off my chair in the movie theater with laughter!!)
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? (The story, the writing, the acting--truly superb!)
Diner (Classic lines, classic story of friendships!)
Office Space (Did you hand in your TPS reports yet?)
Willy Wonka (I'm not sure this is a comedy, but it is a movie masterpiece!)
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (Not a true comedy--but the scenes between father and son are comic genius!)
FAVORITE DRAMA
The Hurt Locker (Is this a surprise to anyone who knows me or reads my blog?)
Do The Right Thing (Another masterpiece, writing, directing, acting....)
Boyz in the Hood (Movie stands alone--but the fact it is John Singleton's first movie--incredible. I could also put in my category "movies that make me sob")
Field of Dreams (Baseball, Costner and inspiration...)
Friday Night Lights (I love a sports movie--this one represents all that I love!)
To Kill A Mockingbird (How can you not love this movie and Gregory Peck?)
To Sir With Love (How do you thank someone who has taken you from crayons to perfume?)
Cool Hand Like (Great writing, acting and directing)
The Big Chill (I can't even think of college without this thinking of this movie. So many great lines...)
Chariots of Fire (This movie falls into the "I love this movie" category but I don't typically watch it over and over)
The Right Stuff (Love an astronaut story...love Sam Shepherd in this movie)
FAVORITE ROMANCE MOVIES
Roman Holiday (Simply the best romance movie EVER!! Peck and Hepburn? Love them!)
High Society (Most prefer the original "Philadelphia Story"--I love that one too but saw "High Society" first. I think Bing Crosby is at his best in this film!)
Love Actually (One of my absolute faves! Every story is enchanting or heartbreaking)
American President ("I am Andrew Shepherd. And I AM your President!")
Breaking Away (Okay, so this isn't a romance--but originally this category was romance or comedy/drama. Classic film of the haves and have nots!)
Cat Ballou (Lee Marvin is fantastic in this movie!)
Valley Girl (Randy and Julie--a modern love story with a great soundtrack!)
Chasing Liberty (Stop laughing, I know this one is corny--but I LOVE it! I love Mattew Goode too!)
Say Anything (If you guys know so much about women, why are you at the Gas n Sip on a Saturday night? Choice man, choice!)
That Touch of Mink I love a Doris Day movie--I love them all!)
Father Goose (Couldn't leave this Cary Grant movie off the list)
MOVIES THAT MAKE ME SOB
Champ (I don't think I've ever made through the scene with Ricky Shroeder balling without balling myself!)
I Am Sam (I cry every time--especially when she is with the "new" family.)
Brian’s Song (Classic sports movie with a lovely tale of friendship!)
My Girl (These kids will get you every time!)
Butch and Sundance (You just keep rooting for them!)
Bang th Drum Slowly (This movie is so underrated-great acting!)
West Side Story (Somewhere a place for us...sniffle, sniffle)
Independence Day (Great action flick with touching scenes.)
Mister Roberts (Why oh why does someone as great as Mister Roberts have to die!?)
Rocket Gilbraltar (A great movie about families!)
Pay It Forward (I've only seen it once, but I sobbed!!)
I'm sure I left out plenty of movies that I love.
MY OVERALL TOP TEN
Hangover
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner
Roman Holiday
High Society
Valley Girl
Love Actually
Breaking Away OR The Hurt Locker
Bull Durham
The Big Chill
Do The Right Thing
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Benefit of the Doubt
I think we should all give the benefit of the doubt more often. It would keep peace between friends and family and it would avert many miscommunications. As humans, we need to learn to be more forgiving of each other. We need to learn not to take things so personally. Upon reflection, I bet you’ll find what you’ve taken personally, is not about you at all.
My husband’s grandmother recently passed away and his Aunt delivered a wonderful tribute to her. She mentioned how her mother would always take the time to listen to all of her kids complain when they had an issue with someone. She would calmly listen. After they were done, she would say: “What you don’t know is if that person recently suffered a loss, had to stay up all night with a sick baby, came into rough economic times, etc.” Her point: perhaps at face value they were rude, insensitive, self-absorbed, etc. However, what made them that way in that instant? Give them the benefit of the doubt.
I think we owe that to each other. I dare say not one of us on this planet is perfect. Do I like it when someone is rude, distracted, insensitive, self-absorbed or angry? No, I do not. However, have I ever been rude, distracted, insensitive , self-absorbed or angry? Yes, I have. We all have. Remember this the next time you are quick to judge your friend, your father, your sister, your brother, your mother, your teacher, your coworker or yes, even a stranger.
I read so many posts on Facebook that actually sadden me. So many people post items that reflect their rush to judgment that ultimately reveals they are mad at a friend, neighbor, family member or stranger. What a wasted effort to be mad, or I should say to hold a grudge. We all get mad. However, when you let that feeling take over your sensibilities and can’t let go, it is not healthy. I’m willing to bet, it is not worth it either.
Often we get upset or mad when someone does not meet our expectations. Well, guess what? That is about YOU, NOT THEM! It is unfair to expect someone to meet YOUR expectations unless you’ve clearly outlined those expectations. If a friend forgets your birthday or your mom doesn’t call you on Christmas, or your daughter loses your IPod, don’t hold a grudge. Forgive, let it go. We need to learn the limitations of our friends and family and come to accept them as they are. I’m not saying to ignore it. Share your feelings; let them know how it made you feel, then move on. Do not tell everyone on your Facebook page or everyone in your office or school and then NOT tell the person who disappointed you.
If someone continually disappoints you or consistently behaves in a way that you are not comfortable with, just distance yourself. You can do this in an amicable way without holding grudges or writing the person the off. Believe me; I know there are extreme situations that this approach does not work for. I’m just saying, for the most part, the benefit of the doubt works. I honestly can’t think of a grudge I’ve ever held. I have friends who will read this—if you can think of one, refresh my memory. I get disappointed in people and angry sometimes, however, after I experience it, I let it go. Move on. Walk on.
I even give the benefit of the doubt to perfect strangers. I was so hoping Balloon Boy wasn’t a hoax. I saw the Wolf Blitzer interview and I still rationalized how it could be real. My theory is: I’d rather be wrong about thinking someone was acting with integrity and good intentions vs. wrong about thinking they were acting with ill intentions. Wouldn’t you? So, I was wrong about the Balloon Boy incident. Ultimately, who cares that I was wrong? My conscious would care if I immediately jumped to accuse the dad of staging the incident and then learned it was real.
Give the benefit of the doubt when:
*You’re not invited to a friend’s party (maybe the party was for a different circle of friends or maybe they needed to have a limit and couldn’t include everyone)
*You recognize a friend at the mall and they do not say hi (maybe they did not see you, they’re so focused on their mission, they could’ve looked right at you and not have seen you; or they didn’t sense recognition from you and thought you wouldn’t remember them, etc.)
*A friend forgets your birthday (life gets crazy and it happens sometimes—shouldn’t be a reflection on what kind of friend that person is)
*Someone forgets to pay you back money you loaned (perhaps it truly slipped their mind)
*A friend makes a wise crack at your expense. (they were trying to be funny and may have crossed the line. Sometimes it is hard to define that line with a friend until something happens)
*Your mother hints that you should stop eating ice cream and cookies because your pants are becoming too tight. (Hey, that is what a mom does!!!)
Above is just a sampling of little things we can “give” the benefit of the doubt to. Obviously, patterns of behavior over time are different. For instance, if a friend never pays you back and now owes you mucho money--well, that is an issue. I’m just saying, initially, do not judge, give the benefit of the doubt.
Remember the words of Bono, The Edge, Larry and, yes, Adam:
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on
Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
My husband’s grandmother recently passed away and his Aunt delivered a wonderful tribute to her. She mentioned how her mother would always take the time to listen to all of her kids complain when they had an issue with someone. She would calmly listen. After they were done, she would say: “What you don’t know is if that person recently suffered a loss, had to stay up all night with a sick baby, came into rough economic times, etc.” Her point: perhaps at face value they were rude, insensitive, self-absorbed, etc. However, what made them that way in that instant? Give them the benefit of the doubt.
I think we owe that to each other. I dare say not one of us on this planet is perfect. Do I like it when someone is rude, distracted, insensitive, self-absorbed or angry? No, I do not. However, have I ever been rude, distracted, insensitive , self-absorbed or angry? Yes, I have. We all have. Remember this the next time you are quick to judge your friend, your father, your sister, your brother, your mother, your teacher, your coworker or yes, even a stranger.
I read so many posts on Facebook that actually sadden me. So many people post items that reflect their rush to judgment that ultimately reveals they are mad at a friend, neighbor, family member or stranger. What a wasted effort to be mad, or I should say to hold a grudge. We all get mad. However, when you let that feeling take over your sensibilities and can’t let go, it is not healthy. I’m willing to bet, it is not worth it either.
Often we get upset or mad when someone does not meet our expectations. Well, guess what? That is about YOU, NOT THEM! It is unfair to expect someone to meet YOUR expectations unless you’ve clearly outlined those expectations. If a friend forgets your birthday or your mom doesn’t call you on Christmas, or your daughter loses your IPod, don’t hold a grudge. Forgive, let it go. We need to learn the limitations of our friends and family and come to accept them as they are. I’m not saying to ignore it. Share your feelings; let them know how it made you feel, then move on. Do not tell everyone on your Facebook page or everyone in your office or school and then NOT tell the person who disappointed you.
If someone continually disappoints you or consistently behaves in a way that you are not comfortable with, just distance yourself. You can do this in an amicable way without holding grudges or writing the person the off. Believe me; I know there are extreme situations that this approach does not work for. I’m just saying, for the most part, the benefit of the doubt works. I honestly can’t think of a grudge I’ve ever held. I have friends who will read this—if you can think of one, refresh my memory. I get disappointed in people and angry sometimes, however, after I experience it, I let it go. Move on. Walk on.
I even give the benefit of the doubt to perfect strangers. I was so hoping Balloon Boy wasn’t a hoax. I saw the Wolf Blitzer interview and I still rationalized how it could be real. My theory is: I’d rather be wrong about thinking someone was acting with integrity and good intentions vs. wrong about thinking they were acting with ill intentions. Wouldn’t you? So, I was wrong about the Balloon Boy incident. Ultimately, who cares that I was wrong? My conscious would care if I immediately jumped to accuse the dad of staging the incident and then learned it was real.
Give the benefit of the doubt when:
*You’re not invited to a friend’s party (maybe the party was for a different circle of friends or maybe they needed to have a limit and couldn’t include everyone)
*You recognize a friend at the mall and they do not say hi (maybe they did not see you, they’re so focused on their mission, they could’ve looked right at you and not have seen you; or they didn’t sense recognition from you and thought you wouldn’t remember them, etc.)
*A friend forgets your birthday (life gets crazy and it happens sometimes—shouldn’t be a reflection on what kind of friend that person is)
*Someone forgets to pay you back money you loaned (perhaps it truly slipped their mind)
*A friend makes a wise crack at your expense. (they were trying to be funny and may have crossed the line. Sometimes it is hard to define that line with a friend until something happens)
*Your mother hints that you should stop eating ice cream and cookies because your pants are becoming too tight. (Hey, that is what a mom does!!!)
Above is just a sampling of little things we can “give” the benefit of the doubt to. Obviously, patterns of behavior over time are different. For instance, if a friend never pays you back and now owes you mucho money--well, that is an issue. I’m just saying, initially, do not judge, give the benefit of the doubt.
Remember the words of Bono, The Edge, Larry and, yes, Adam:
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on
Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Why Has Idol Lost Its Flavor?
I know ratings are an important indicator of a show’s success, but so is water cooler buzz. Water cooler buzz over the last few weeks indicates people are not so keen on American Idol anymore. I know I’m not. If I was going to miss an episode during past seasons, I would definitely tape it. Now, I don’t. I ask my kids how everyone performed. You might say I don’t tape it because you can go online to view performances. I have not once looked up a performance from this season online. I’ve watched Idol since season one and I am finally ready to give it up. (Maybe…)
Why has it lost its flavor? My thoughts:
1. Four judges! It did not work last year (too long, too much pontificating). We do not need 4 people telling us “two” opinions. Was the performance good or bad? The reason three works is the tiebreaker. If two people disagree, you have a third to break the tie. The even number of four does not work here. (If you knew me, you’d know I’m a big fan of even numbers. So much so, you might call me superstitious. My TV volume is never set to an odd number and I pump my gas so the dollars spent equals an even number. Too much information about my neurosis?)
2. I miss Paula. (Did I just say that out loud?) I’m sorry I do. She was entertaining. I watched Idol 80% for the performances and 20% for Paula’s craziness. Admit it, even if you didn’t know you watched Idol for Paula, you miss her, don’t you? It is like the old saying “you don’t know what you had until it is gone.”
3. Substitute Paula does not work. Although I am one of the few that thinks Kara is sometimes the only one who gives constructive criticism (whether I agree with it or not…) I despise her attempts to be crazy with Simon. It is like the producers said, “Okay, Kara and Simon can you try to flirt with each other and create sort of what Paula and Simon had, but a little different?” STOP THE MADNESS! It is not working. It is nauseating and obviously contrived!
4. I don’t think Ellen is contributing to the loss of flavor—but I don't think she is adding value to the show. Again, the four judge panel approach is not working. In the beginning Ellen was able to be constructive, but now she is filling in for nice Paula. If she doesn’t want to say anything bad, she quickly turns it over to Kara. I think my expectations were too high for Ellen. I don’t think she is adding what the producers thought she would add.
5. Top 24. I don’t think the judges picked the “right” Top 24. I love the talent this year, but there is something missing. I haven’t put my finger on it yet. It is not lack of talent or lack of vocal diversity but it something. It just does not captivate like it used to. Some Adam crazed fans say it is because since they can never replicate Adam—Idol will never be the same anymore. I certainly do not subscribe to that! (Most of you know—I wasn’t a huge Adam fan.) I do agree last year, people did tune in to see what he might do or look like next. However, the show was successful for many years prior to Adam.
6. Simon is phoning in his comments this season. He knows it is his last year. He is different. Simon was always too harsh, but he was often on the mark. This year he is just innocuous. I think they are doomed next year without him. My best advice to the producers would be to find a smart, witty no-name to replace Simon. Do not try to fill his shoes with a big name. He was unknown to Americans prior to Idol. Do that again. (Try at least)
7. We are sick of the commercials and the length of the show. When you are down to 8 contestants, the show does not have to be 2 hours long. I get it. It is a business. You can sell 2 hours worth of commercial time, so why not? Why, because you are losing us!!!
8. Since I can’t end on “7” I need to think of an 8th reason. Oh, probably the one that frustrates me the most. Inconsistent judges comments!!! Ugh!! One week, the artist doesn’t make the song his/her own-- the next week the same artist changed the song too much. One week the artist sings to slow, the next week they sing too fast. I find that to be the most annoying part of the show. “Tim, why do you smile when we are criticizing you?” Perhaps because he is polite!! Who cares why he smiles? All you need to worry about as a judge is if he takes your criticism and uses it next week. Stop focusing on the inane!!! The judges are truly the reason why I’ve decided not to follow faithfully this year
Okay, I’m done. Yes, it comes down to the judges. Love to hear your thoughts!
Why has it lost its flavor? My thoughts:
1. Four judges! It did not work last year (too long, too much pontificating). We do not need 4 people telling us “two” opinions. Was the performance good or bad? The reason three works is the tiebreaker. If two people disagree, you have a third to break the tie. The even number of four does not work here. (If you knew me, you’d know I’m a big fan of even numbers. So much so, you might call me superstitious. My TV volume is never set to an odd number and I pump my gas so the dollars spent equals an even number. Too much information about my neurosis?)
2. I miss Paula. (Did I just say that out loud?) I’m sorry I do. She was entertaining. I watched Idol 80% for the performances and 20% for Paula’s craziness. Admit it, even if you didn’t know you watched Idol for Paula, you miss her, don’t you? It is like the old saying “you don’t know what you had until it is gone.”
3. Substitute Paula does not work. Although I am one of the few that thinks Kara is sometimes the only one who gives constructive criticism (whether I agree with it or not…) I despise her attempts to be crazy with Simon. It is like the producers said, “Okay, Kara and Simon can you try to flirt with each other and create sort of what Paula and Simon had, but a little different?” STOP THE MADNESS! It is not working. It is nauseating and obviously contrived!
4. I don’t think Ellen is contributing to the loss of flavor—but I don't think she is adding value to the show. Again, the four judge panel approach is not working. In the beginning Ellen was able to be constructive, but now she is filling in for nice Paula. If she doesn’t want to say anything bad, she quickly turns it over to Kara. I think my expectations were too high for Ellen. I don’t think she is adding what the producers thought she would add.
5. Top 24. I don’t think the judges picked the “right” Top 24. I love the talent this year, but there is something missing. I haven’t put my finger on it yet. It is not lack of talent or lack of vocal diversity but it something. It just does not captivate like it used to. Some Adam crazed fans say it is because since they can never replicate Adam—Idol will never be the same anymore. I certainly do not subscribe to that! (Most of you know—I wasn’t a huge Adam fan.) I do agree last year, people did tune in to see what he might do or look like next. However, the show was successful for many years prior to Adam.
6. Simon is phoning in his comments this season. He knows it is his last year. He is different. Simon was always too harsh, but he was often on the mark. This year he is just innocuous. I think they are doomed next year without him. My best advice to the producers would be to find a smart, witty no-name to replace Simon. Do not try to fill his shoes with a big name. He was unknown to Americans prior to Idol. Do that again. (Try at least)
7. We are sick of the commercials and the length of the show. When you are down to 8 contestants, the show does not have to be 2 hours long. I get it. It is a business. You can sell 2 hours worth of commercial time, so why not? Why, because you are losing us!!!
8. Since I can’t end on “7” I need to think of an 8th reason. Oh, probably the one that frustrates me the most. Inconsistent judges comments!!! Ugh!! One week, the artist doesn’t make the song his/her own-- the next week the same artist changed the song too much. One week the artist sings to slow, the next week they sing too fast. I find that to be the most annoying part of the show. “Tim, why do you smile when we are criticizing you?” Perhaps because he is polite!! Who cares why he smiles? All you need to worry about as a judge is if he takes your criticism and uses it next week. Stop focusing on the inane!!! The judges are truly the reason why I’ve decided not to follow faithfully this year
Okay, I’m done. Yes, it comes down to the judges. Love to hear your thoughts!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Hate Veiled as Religion
Have you heard of the Westboro Baptist Church? Well, let me provide you some details. They are an anti-gay church (which, yes, by definition many religions have that as their “official” stance) whose members’ favorite pastime is protesting at the funeral services of American soldiers. Why? Well, because American soldiers defend a country that supports homosexuality. (I bet I can find a bunch of homosexuals that would say, “uh, no we don’t live in a country that supports homosexuality—we can’t even get married in most states!”) However, that is beside the point. Let me list how many ways their conduct is wrong:
1)In the simplest terms—just downright callous and disrespectful.
2)Their website is actually www.godhatesfags.com. Okay, you know what God hates? Haters, that is what! How can you hide behind God and spew such hatred? Look, if you don’t like homosexuality—I won’t call you out on that. This is a free country—you have the right to agree or not to agree with someone’s lifestyle. However, you do not have the right to be judge and jury. I will not judge you because I disagree with your stance on homosexuality, but I will judge you for your lack of compassion, insensitivity and mob like mentality. Oh, and I will judge you for using God as a shield. The God I worship, would not be happy about that.
3)If you do not want soldiers protecting a country that supports homosexuality, why do you live in a country that “supports” it? Hey, we live in a free country remember? You can leave any time. Let me list a few of the countries you might feel more comfortable in because they are not tolerant of homosexuality and consider it a crime: Somalia, Sudan, Uganda, Afghanistan, Iran….just to name a few. Why don’t you pack your passports, bags and bibles and move out!
4)WWJD? He wouldn’t protest a funeral--that is for sure. A family is grieving over losing a young son/daughter, husband/wife, father/mother, they do not need publicity hungry hate mongers disturbing their worship. According to scripture, when Pontius Pilate asked the crowd who should be saved, Barrabas or Jesus, they chose Barrabas. Even then Jesus did not hate or judge. Why do you, members of the Westboro church?
I actually went to their website and took a peek at their picket schedule. Guess where they are heading in April? Virginia Tech. Yes, a week before the anniversary of the tragic shootings, they will be there protesting. These are quotes from their website regarding why they are at VT:
•“WBC to picket Virginia Tech to connect the dots. God sent the killer because of your proud sin!”
•“... they think fornication, adultery, and sodomy are all just in good fun (instead of the filthy practices they are), and that's why the wrath of God is on them. God is cursing you by killing those same children that you have lied to all their lives. VA Tech was just GodSmacked”
I support Freedom of Speech—whether it is speech I agree with or do not agree with. However, there is a time and a place. If they are so unhappy with laws and legislation, the most prudent place for them to protest would be at state capitals, Washington, etc. Not at a funeral.
The most dividing thing in this country is narrow-mindedness. It doesn’t matter if you are a Republican, a Democrat, a conservative, a liberal, a Christian, a Jew, a Muslim or an atheist…what matters is that you can keep your mind open and maintain more than a single focus. It is okay for us to disagree—what kind of boring world would we live in if we all were the same with the same ideas and beliefs? We need compassion, trust and a judgment free zone. It sickens me that this group claims to be spreading the word of any God. Actually, take God out of the picture. It sickens me that HUMANS (the one thing we all have in common) would create such a hostile environment on such a mournful day. I’m stepping out of my judgment free zone-to say that this is shameful and disappointing.
1)In the simplest terms—just downright callous and disrespectful.
2)Their website is actually www.godhatesfags.com. Okay, you know what God hates? Haters, that is what! How can you hide behind God and spew such hatred? Look, if you don’t like homosexuality—I won’t call you out on that. This is a free country—you have the right to agree or not to agree with someone’s lifestyle. However, you do not have the right to be judge and jury. I will not judge you because I disagree with your stance on homosexuality, but I will judge you for your lack of compassion, insensitivity and mob like mentality. Oh, and I will judge you for using God as a shield. The God I worship, would not be happy about that.
3)If you do not want soldiers protecting a country that supports homosexuality, why do you live in a country that “supports” it? Hey, we live in a free country remember? You can leave any time. Let me list a few of the countries you might feel more comfortable in because they are not tolerant of homosexuality and consider it a crime: Somalia, Sudan, Uganda, Afghanistan, Iran….just to name a few. Why don’t you pack your passports, bags and bibles and move out!
4)WWJD? He wouldn’t protest a funeral--that is for sure. A family is grieving over losing a young son/daughter, husband/wife, father/mother, they do not need publicity hungry hate mongers disturbing their worship. According to scripture, when Pontius Pilate asked the crowd who should be saved, Barrabas or Jesus, they chose Barrabas. Even then Jesus did not hate or judge. Why do you, members of the Westboro church?
I actually went to their website and took a peek at their picket schedule. Guess where they are heading in April? Virginia Tech. Yes, a week before the anniversary of the tragic shootings, they will be there protesting. These are quotes from their website regarding why they are at VT:
•“WBC to picket Virginia Tech to connect the dots. God sent the killer because of your proud sin!”
•“... they think fornication, adultery, and sodomy are all just in good fun (instead of the filthy practices they are), and that's why the wrath of God is on them. God is cursing you by killing those same children that you have lied to all their lives. VA Tech was just GodSmacked”
I support Freedom of Speech—whether it is speech I agree with or do not agree with. However, there is a time and a place. If they are so unhappy with laws and legislation, the most prudent place for them to protest would be at state capitals, Washington, etc. Not at a funeral.
The most dividing thing in this country is narrow-mindedness. It doesn’t matter if you are a Republican, a Democrat, a conservative, a liberal, a Christian, a Jew, a Muslim or an atheist…what matters is that you can keep your mind open and maintain more than a single focus. It is okay for us to disagree—what kind of boring world would we live in if we all were the same with the same ideas and beliefs? We need compassion, trust and a judgment free zone. It sickens me that this group claims to be spreading the word of any God. Actually, take God out of the picture. It sickens me that HUMANS (the one thing we all have in common) would create such a hostile environment on such a mournful day. I’m stepping out of my judgment free zone-to say that this is shameful and disappointing.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
My Quest to Raise "Achievers"
I struggled with the title of this blog. I’ve struggled with writing the blog. For months, I’ve wanted to tackle this topic but lacked the confidence to do it justice. I’m still not sure if I’m up to the task—but I will try. (Editors Note: I didn't do it justice--but I'm posting it anyway)
I wish my children had the opportunity to grow up in the 70’s and 80’s, like I did. I often wonder if my parents would‘ve said “I wish swirlgirl had the opportunity to grow up in the 50’s and 60’s. I bet they wouldn’t make that statement. Why do I wish that for my children? Mainly because I think the 21st century parent is insane. I grew up in simpler time.
Parents put so much pressure on kids today to excel in EVERYTHING! I think we should expect our kids to do their best—but we shouldn’t always expect them to do more and more and more and more. I remember when my daughter was in 3rd grade this conversation took place:
Other Mom: What activities is your daughter in?
Me: Well, she is a Girl Scout and she cheerleads in the fall.
Other Mom: Well, what else? Dance? A sport?
Me: Uh No. She tried dancing for a couple of years and didn’t want to continue and she is not into sports.
Other Mom: (Just a confused look on her face)
Me: My other daughter swims, plays basketball and softball.
Other Mom: (Lightbulb and smile) Oh, great.
You know that after that conversation she thought daughter one must have “issues”. Contrary, I think daughter one knows her boundaries and knows what she likes. A very stable outlook!
Seriously, I’ve heard other moms state that people look at them with three heads when they mention their child is only in one activity. Can you imagine a child that is NOT in soccer, learning Chinese, taking flute lessons, and creating her own website at age 7? Appalling!
I’m all for exposing children to many opportunities, but when is enough, enough? Why do parents have to push their kids so much farther than they were pushed? My kids are much older now and we face new challenges. Now you are looked at like a crazy person when you say you wish your kid had room to take a study hall in their schedule. Apparently, study halls are for future derelicts who will be begging for coins on the corner. Call me crazy, but I like a study hall. Our evenings are busy enough, if my kids can get some work done during school, I say TERRIFIC!!! Do I want them to have more than one study hall? Absolutely not. However, one is fine if the schedule allows it! The reaction to “I don’t mind them having one study hall” is almost the same reaction as if I said “My kids start their day with a hit of crack.” (I’m so out of it—can you even take a hit of crack?)
So, are my husband and I grooming underachievers? I don’t think so. I do think we are purposely raising ACHIEVERS and purposely and strategically not raising OVERACHIEVERS. Again, if you’ve read my blogs—I’m not judging you if you are purposely raising overachievers—just don’t judge my achievers! This is a lifestyle choice for my family. Here is what I want for my kids:
1. Happiness (priority number one)
2. Good Health
3. Confidence and a strong belief in who they are as a person.
4. Success (on THEIR terms—not mine! They can decide what success looks like for them and aim to achieve that level of success)
5. Balance. I want them to have a mix of fun, duty, and exposure to new things.
6. The ability to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously.
I’ve known parents that struggle over writing the perfect application for entry into a private kindergarten that will cost $15,000!! I know parents that pay $25,000 a year for an elementary school. I think that is great if you can afford it and you think that is the best thing for your child. However, I do take issue with the thought that a $15,000 kindergarten is the only way your child will get accepted to Yale. Slow down parents; take one year at a time! Why does every parent want their kid to go to the BEST college? I want my kids to go to the school that fits them best. I don’t care which school they choose, as long as it makes sense for them. I’ll admit, Yale will get your foot in the door—but it won’t keep you there. I worked in a department that the PHDs from elite schools were always let go because they were too academic for the corporate world. I’m not saying that is always the case. My point is there is not an “always” the case. Successful people graduate from a variety of colleges and have variety of academic backgrounds. Some successful people do not even have college degrees!
The person that I consider to be one of the most successful people I know, attended a two year community college and then attended a weekend college to achieve her bachelor’s degree. She did this while she was married, working and raising her children. In high school she was an average student I venture to guess her GPA was (at most) a 3.0. She now owns four OT/PT Clinics, has been happily married for 23 years and has two well-adjusted children. I know so many parents right now that would be (unfairly) disappointed if she was their high school child and was bringing home those average grades in average classes. However,those same parents would be extremely proud of her current life. In the real world your current actions are worth more than your background. One of the keys to my friend’s success is that she knew what she wanted to do with her life. She knew in high school she wanted to be an occupational therapist. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I found myself taking the practice LSAT the other day. I actually did pretty well. However, do I want to go through all the effort of law school, when I don’t even want to be a lawyer? I’ll figure out my next chapter in about three years when kids are off to college.
As a society, we are pushing and challenging our kids at younger and younger ages. When my daughter began cheerleading, the youngest group of girls was not allowed to do any “stunts” even the elementary ones that aren’t really stunts, but they look cute. Now, they can do a half-lift? So, does that mean in 15 years the 6 year olds will be doing full lifts and throws? When do we stop? I also think in 15 years our kids might be tackling calculus by 7th grade.
We need to let our kids fail sometimes. It is okay if your child comes home with a C or an F. It is a learning experience. I know parents that have wanted to switch their children from one class to another because they were receiving B’s instead of A’s. STOP THE MADNESS. Every student can’t get a 4.0. I question schools that have so many “fantastic” students!
We need to relax as parents. Our kids will do just fine if we give them the freedom to be who they are and do what they want. Our only rule in our house is that college is a must. After college, you can choose any profession you want (that is legal of course!). If you want to be a waiter, be a waiter. If you want to be a hairdresser, be a hairdresser. If you want to be a lawyer, be a lawyer. If you want to be a teacher, be a teacher. (You get the picture, right?)
Don’t plan out your child’s life when they’re born. Let them evolve.
(Follow Up comment: I'm all for overachieving and overachievers--when it comes naturally to the person. I believe it is a natural instinct vs. something that should be forced.)
I wish my children had the opportunity to grow up in the 70’s and 80’s, like I did. I often wonder if my parents would‘ve said “I wish swirlgirl had the opportunity to grow up in the 50’s and 60’s. I bet they wouldn’t make that statement. Why do I wish that for my children? Mainly because I think the 21st century parent is insane. I grew up in simpler time.
Parents put so much pressure on kids today to excel in EVERYTHING! I think we should expect our kids to do their best—but we shouldn’t always expect them to do more and more and more and more. I remember when my daughter was in 3rd grade this conversation took place:
Other Mom: What activities is your daughter in?
Me: Well, she is a Girl Scout and she cheerleads in the fall.
Other Mom: Well, what else? Dance? A sport?
Me: Uh No. She tried dancing for a couple of years and didn’t want to continue and she is not into sports.
Other Mom: (Just a confused look on her face)
Me: My other daughter swims, plays basketball and softball.
Other Mom: (Lightbulb and smile) Oh, great.
You know that after that conversation she thought daughter one must have “issues”. Contrary, I think daughter one knows her boundaries and knows what she likes. A very stable outlook!
Seriously, I’ve heard other moms state that people look at them with three heads when they mention their child is only in one activity. Can you imagine a child that is NOT in soccer, learning Chinese, taking flute lessons, and creating her own website at age 7? Appalling!
I’m all for exposing children to many opportunities, but when is enough, enough? Why do parents have to push their kids so much farther than they were pushed? My kids are much older now and we face new challenges. Now you are looked at like a crazy person when you say you wish your kid had room to take a study hall in their schedule. Apparently, study halls are for future derelicts who will be begging for coins on the corner. Call me crazy, but I like a study hall. Our evenings are busy enough, if my kids can get some work done during school, I say TERRIFIC!!! Do I want them to have more than one study hall? Absolutely not. However, one is fine if the schedule allows it! The reaction to “I don’t mind them having one study hall” is almost the same reaction as if I said “My kids start their day with a hit of crack.” (I’m so out of it—can you even take a hit of crack?)
So, are my husband and I grooming underachievers? I don’t think so. I do think we are purposely raising ACHIEVERS and purposely and strategically not raising OVERACHIEVERS. Again, if you’ve read my blogs—I’m not judging you if you are purposely raising overachievers—just don’t judge my achievers! This is a lifestyle choice for my family. Here is what I want for my kids:
1. Happiness (priority number one)
2. Good Health
3. Confidence and a strong belief in who they are as a person.
4. Success (on THEIR terms—not mine! They can decide what success looks like for them and aim to achieve that level of success)
5. Balance. I want them to have a mix of fun, duty, and exposure to new things.
6. The ability to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously.
I’ve known parents that struggle over writing the perfect application for entry into a private kindergarten that will cost $15,000!! I know parents that pay $25,000 a year for an elementary school. I think that is great if you can afford it and you think that is the best thing for your child. However, I do take issue with the thought that a $15,000 kindergarten is the only way your child will get accepted to Yale. Slow down parents; take one year at a time! Why does every parent want their kid to go to the BEST college? I want my kids to go to the school that fits them best. I don’t care which school they choose, as long as it makes sense for them. I’ll admit, Yale will get your foot in the door—but it won’t keep you there. I worked in a department that the PHDs from elite schools were always let go because they were too academic for the corporate world. I’m not saying that is always the case. My point is there is not an “always” the case. Successful people graduate from a variety of colleges and have variety of academic backgrounds. Some successful people do not even have college degrees!
The person that I consider to be one of the most successful people I know, attended a two year community college and then attended a weekend college to achieve her bachelor’s degree. She did this while she was married, working and raising her children. In high school she was an average student I venture to guess her GPA was (at most) a 3.0. She now owns four OT/PT Clinics, has been happily married for 23 years and has two well-adjusted children. I know so many parents right now that would be (unfairly) disappointed if she was their high school child and was bringing home those average grades in average classes. However,those same parents would be extremely proud of her current life. In the real world your current actions are worth more than your background. One of the keys to my friend’s success is that she knew what she wanted to do with her life. She knew in high school she wanted to be an occupational therapist. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I found myself taking the practice LSAT the other day. I actually did pretty well. However, do I want to go through all the effort of law school, when I don’t even want to be a lawyer? I’ll figure out my next chapter in about three years when kids are off to college.
As a society, we are pushing and challenging our kids at younger and younger ages. When my daughter began cheerleading, the youngest group of girls was not allowed to do any “stunts” even the elementary ones that aren’t really stunts, but they look cute. Now, they can do a half-lift? So, does that mean in 15 years the 6 year olds will be doing full lifts and throws? When do we stop? I also think in 15 years our kids might be tackling calculus by 7th grade.
We need to let our kids fail sometimes. It is okay if your child comes home with a C or an F. It is a learning experience. I know parents that have wanted to switch their children from one class to another because they were receiving B’s instead of A’s. STOP THE MADNESS. Every student can’t get a 4.0. I question schools that have so many “fantastic” students!
We need to relax as parents. Our kids will do just fine if we give them the freedom to be who they are and do what they want. Our only rule in our house is that college is a must. After college, you can choose any profession you want (that is legal of course!). If you want to be a waiter, be a waiter. If you want to be a hairdresser, be a hairdresser. If you want to be a lawyer, be a lawyer. If you want to be a teacher, be a teacher. (You get the picture, right?)
Don’t plan out your child’s life when they’re born. Let them evolve.
(Follow Up comment: I'm all for overachieving and overachievers--when it comes naturally to the person. I believe it is a natural instinct vs. something that should be forced.)
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
"Tha Hangover" deserves an Oscar Nomination
Although my title is clear and concise, prepare yourself for a rollercoaster of rants and tangents within this topic!
Yes, I think “The Hangover” should be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar. What? No, I have seen the Oscars before. In fact, I watch them every year. It is my second favorite award ceremony to watch (Golden Globes are my favorite!). I know movies like “The Hangover” are not usually nominated, but I’m saying it is time. I don’t think it should win. If you’ve followed my blog, my tweets, my Facebook status’ you know I think “The Hurt Locker” is the best movie of the year. If that movie DOESN”T get nominated—I’ll be boiling mad. I might even make an idle threat not to watch this year!
Back to “The Hangover.” This movie is one of the funniest movies to be released in years. It is fresh and new. It is not a romantic comedy and it is not a silly slapstick movie. It is genuinely funny and surprising. Although, universal appeal is not a requirement for an Oscar nod, I am impressed by the universal appeal of this movie. I have yet to meet anyone, or read a FB status, tweet, etc. from anyone who has not thought this movie was uproariously funny. I’m sure there is one or two that exist, but I have not crossed paths with them. This movie is loved by men, women, young and old. For a comedy, that is unusual. My kids can’t stop singing the “Stu” song. (Note: this is an R rated movie--not for young kids!)
I think the Academy needs to drop its pretentious haughtiness and nominate this movie. The funny thing is --we all refer to “the academy” like they are this secret society of accomplished film makers. The academy is a very diverse group, so it is surprising when they fall into certain nominating patterns.
I think Zach Galifainakas should be nominated for a Supporting Actor nom. I also thought Gene Wilder was robbed in ’71. He definitely deserved a nomination for Willy Wonka—his performance in that movie was flawless. If you are offering an acting award it should be about the acting, not the movie. (Believe me—that is not a dig on Willy Wonka. Willy Wonka was an awesome movie!!!)
If this was a court of law, I would cite the 1966 Best Picture nominated film “The Russians Are Coming, The Russians are Coming” as a precedent for nominating “The Hangover.” At the time, TRCTRC was a groundbreaking funny movie. (Also, it is another one of my favorites.) Thankfully, the wonderful Alan Arkin was nominated for his portrayal of the Russian captain. He lost to Paul Scolfield for his role in “A Man for All Seasons.” However, Mr. Arkin was rightfully nominated. (Truth be told, I had a little crush on him when I was little.) Side rant— he was also FANTASTIC in the “The Defection of Simas Kudirkas” and “The In-Laws”. And…if you haven’t seen the movie “Poppi” try to find it on DVD. Okay, off my Alan Arkin rant.
Bottom line, if “The Russians are Coming, The Russians are Coming” (and other comedies such as “Tootsie” and “The Full Monty”) received the Oscar nod, the door is open for “The Hangover.” Okay, I know, at least the 1966 film presented a satirical view of the Cold War, but you could argue “The Hangover” is a poignant tale of loyalty and friendship. And hey, they touch on the War on Terror when “Alan” sarcastically thanks Bin Laden for limiting his airplane activities. (Okay, that point may not help my cause, since there are many "inappropriate" and some may say "vulgar" moments in the movie that are not typically included in Oscar films.)
My other wish for this year’s Oscars is that Jeremy Renner is nominated for “The Hurt Locker.” His performance was spot on! His co-stars are also worthy of a mention - Anthony Mackie and Brian Geraghty. If I believed in handing out Supporting Actor awards for 5 minute performances a la Judi Dench in “Shakespeare in Love.” I would say Guy Pearce should be nominated for “The Hurt Locker.” However, I think there are too many fantastic performances in a year to give the prestigious award to a 5 minute performance. Perhaps they should add a category, “Best Under 10min Performance.”
If “The Hangover” and “The Hurt Locker” are not nominated, it won’t be the first time that a movie is robbed of a nomination, IMHO. In 1989, I thought “Do the Right Thing” was worthy of a nomination. Spike Lee’s slice of life insight into Brooklyn was one of my favorite movies that year. However, as I look back at the competition, there were five solid movies nominated that year: My Left Foot, Born on the Fourth of July, Field of Dreams, Driving Miss Daisy, and Dead Poet’s Society. The statue went to Driving Miss Daisy. Daniel Day won for My Left Foot (definitely deserved), however if I had to take out one movie for “Do The Right Thing” in, it might be “My Left Foot.” Great movie and great story—but I think “Do The Right Thing” was a better overall film.
We will know the nominees on January 22. It has been a good year for movies, so I won’t hold my breath for “The Hangover” but I will hold out hope. Don’t forget to watch The Golden Globes this Sunday!! (Go “The Hurt Locker” for drama and “The Hangover” for Comedy/Musical)
Random Oscar Notes:
•Perennial nominees are a drag. (Actors nominated for almost any role they’re in e.g. Jack Nicholson. He is a great actor but I think other performances are sometimes overlooked when a perennial fave has a movie out. Don’t get me started on the overrated and over awarded movie “As Good As It Gets”—for which Jack took home the prize that year.
•I love the Lee Marvin win for “Cat Ballou”. Great performance!!! (Love that movie too!)
•Surpised “Towering Inferno” and “Working Girl” both garnered Best Picture noms.
•Loved the nomination for “Babe”
•I loved that an animated feature was finally nominated, however, wasn’t super happy about it being “Beauty and the Beast. I love a Disney movie—but that is my least favorite.
•I think Johnny Depp is becoming a perennial favorite. However, I do think one of his best performances was in Donnie Brasco. DB was overlooked in 1997.(Same year as “As Good As It Gets” and a little film called “Titanic”) It also was a great performance for Al Pacino.. I would’ve liked to see AP win for that versus “Scent of a Woman.”
•Tommy Lee Jones should’ve won for Best Supporting Actor for “JFK.” (Although, I could be contradicting myself, it was a small role—but if I remember correctly, it was longer than 5 minutes.)
Yes, I think “The Hangover” should be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar. What? No, I have seen the Oscars before. In fact, I watch them every year. It is my second favorite award ceremony to watch (Golden Globes are my favorite!). I know movies like “The Hangover” are not usually nominated, but I’m saying it is time. I don’t think it should win. If you’ve followed my blog, my tweets, my Facebook status’ you know I think “The Hurt Locker” is the best movie of the year. If that movie DOESN”T get nominated—I’ll be boiling mad. I might even make an idle threat not to watch this year!
Back to “The Hangover.” This movie is one of the funniest movies to be released in years. It is fresh and new. It is not a romantic comedy and it is not a silly slapstick movie. It is genuinely funny and surprising. Although, universal appeal is not a requirement for an Oscar nod, I am impressed by the universal appeal of this movie. I have yet to meet anyone, or read a FB status, tweet, etc. from anyone who has not thought this movie was uproariously funny. I’m sure there is one or two that exist, but I have not crossed paths with them. This movie is loved by men, women, young and old. For a comedy, that is unusual. My kids can’t stop singing the “Stu” song. (Note: this is an R rated movie--not for young kids!)
I think the Academy needs to drop its pretentious haughtiness and nominate this movie. The funny thing is --we all refer to “the academy” like they are this secret society of accomplished film makers. The academy is a very diverse group, so it is surprising when they fall into certain nominating patterns.
I think Zach Galifainakas should be nominated for a Supporting Actor nom. I also thought Gene Wilder was robbed in ’71. He definitely deserved a nomination for Willy Wonka—his performance in that movie was flawless. If you are offering an acting award it should be about the acting, not the movie. (Believe me—that is not a dig on Willy Wonka. Willy Wonka was an awesome movie!!!)
If this was a court of law, I would cite the 1966 Best Picture nominated film “The Russians Are Coming, The Russians are Coming” as a precedent for nominating “The Hangover.” At the time, TRCTRC was a groundbreaking funny movie. (Also, it is another one of my favorites.) Thankfully, the wonderful Alan Arkin was nominated for his portrayal of the Russian captain. He lost to Paul Scolfield for his role in “A Man for All Seasons.” However, Mr. Arkin was rightfully nominated. (Truth be told, I had a little crush on him when I was little.) Side rant— he was also FANTASTIC in the “The Defection of Simas Kudirkas” and “The In-Laws”. And…if you haven’t seen the movie “Poppi” try to find it on DVD. Okay, off my Alan Arkin rant.
Bottom line, if “The Russians are Coming, The Russians are Coming” (and other comedies such as “Tootsie” and “The Full Monty”) received the Oscar nod, the door is open for “The Hangover.” Okay, I know, at least the 1966 film presented a satirical view of the Cold War, but you could argue “The Hangover” is a poignant tale of loyalty and friendship. And hey, they touch on the War on Terror when “Alan” sarcastically thanks Bin Laden for limiting his airplane activities. (Okay, that point may not help my cause, since there are many "inappropriate" and some may say "vulgar" moments in the movie that are not typically included in Oscar films.)
My other wish for this year’s Oscars is that Jeremy Renner is nominated for “The Hurt Locker.” His performance was spot on! His co-stars are also worthy of a mention - Anthony Mackie and Brian Geraghty. If I believed in handing out Supporting Actor awards for 5 minute performances a la Judi Dench in “Shakespeare in Love.” I would say Guy Pearce should be nominated for “The Hurt Locker.” However, I think there are too many fantastic performances in a year to give the prestigious award to a 5 minute performance. Perhaps they should add a category, “Best Under 10min Performance.”
If “The Hangover” and “The Hurt Locker” are not nominated, it won’t be the first time that a movie is robbed of a nomination, IMHO. In 1989, I thought “Do the Right Thing” was worthy of a nomination. Spike Lee’s slice of life insight into Brooklyn was one of my favorite movies that year. However, as I look back at the competition, there were five solid movies nominated that year: My Left Foot, Born on the Fourth of July, Field of Dreams, Driving Miss Daisy, and Dead Poet’s Society. The statue went to Driving Miss Daisy. Daniel Day won for My Left Foot (definitely deserved), however if I had to take out one movie for “Do The Right Thing” in, it might be “My Left Foot.” Great movie and great story—but I think “Do The Right Thing” was a better overall film.
We will know the nominees on January 22. It has been a good year for movies, so I won’t hold my breath for “The Hangover” but I will hold out hope. Don’t forget to watch The Golden Globes this Sunday!! (Go “The Hurt Locker” for drama and “The Hangover” for Comedy/Musical)
Random Oscar Notes:
•Perennial nominees are a drag. (Actors nominated for almost any role they’re in e.g. Jack Nicholson. He is a great actor but I think other performances are sometimes overlooked when a perennial fave has a movie out. Don’t get me started on the overrated and over awarded movie “As Good As It Gets”—for which Jack took home the prize that year.
•I love the Lee Marvin win for “Cat Ballou”. Great performance!!! (Love that movie too!)
•Surpised “Towering Inferno” and “Working Girl” both garnered Best Picture noms.
•Loved the nomination for “Babe”
•I loved that an animated feature was finally nominated, however, wasn’t super happy about it being “Beauty and the Beast. I love a Disney movie—but that is my least favorite.
•I think Johnny Depp is becoming a perennial favorite. However, I do think one of his best performances was in Donnie Brasco. DB was overlooked in 1997.(Same year as “As Good As It Gets” and a little film called “Titanic”) It also was a great performance for Al Pacino.. I would’ve liked to see AP win for that versus “Scent of a Woman.”
•Tommy Lee Jones should’ve won for Best Supporting Actor for “JFK.” (Although, I could be contradicting myself, it was a small role—but if I remember correctly, it was longer than 5 minutes.)
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