Money is a controversial topic. People think some have too much and most think they do not have enough. I think money issues boil down to personal priorities. I also think people shouldn’t talk about their lack of money or their abundance of money. Money issues are all relative. A family that lives in house that costs $900,000 can be in as much debt or money troubles as a person who lives in a house that costs $100,000. Also, a person who lives in a $100,000 house may be in much better financial shape compared to someone who lives in a $900,000 house. It boils down to how you manage your money. My husband’s grandfather used to say “Just because you spend a lot of money, doesn’t mean you have a lot of money.”--So true.
What frustrates me most about money? People who complain about not having enough, yet they seem to have a lot of stuff. I believe you do not have the right to complain about not being able to afford this or that if you meet 2 of the following criteria:
1.You or your partner has NOT recently lost your job. (e.g. your income remains unchanged)
2.You own a Coach purse.
3.You go for manicures and/or pedicures more than twice per year.
4.Your child wears a pair of UGGs or Emus or any brand of boot that cost more than $80.
5.You have more than 1 computer in your house.
6.There are more than 2 iPods in your household.
7.You have a gaming system in your house.
8.You contribute to a college savings account.
9.You own a house with a 3 car garage or you own a 2nd home.
I actually think I’m being generous. I almost put, “if you own a house.” So, I’ve turned half of you off now, right? Well, read carefully. I’m not judging you if you meet all of these criteria. I meet 6 out of the 9 criteria. I don’t care what you spend your money on; I also don’t care if you spend beyond your means. What I care about is you being out of touch with society and complaining about not being able to afford a night out to dinner or a weekend away! It is all a matter of how you prioritize your spending. You can afford to eat out and go on a vacation—you just need to prioritize differently. Personally, second to the essential needs of life, vacation is my next priority. I’d live without furniture, new shoes, and yes even my iPod, to go on a vacation. (Truthfully, I’d live without my kids’ college savings fund—but that just wouldn’t be nice. Would it? Anyone?)
Now, many different types of people can meet 2 out the 9 above. I’m willing to bet I can find people who meet 2 out of the 9 above who live below the poverty line and of course, those who live well above the poverty line. This is what I mean by “it is all relative and comes down to how you spend your money.” What do you give top priority?
(Okay, no jokesters. I get it if you say you can’t afford a $10,000 African Safari or $50,000/year college tuition. Although, also relative, I might not get it if Paris Hilton says that while parading around in her $10,000 outfit!)
Some people have difficult choices to make every day. Choices likes “Can I afford the extra money to buy ingredients to make a birthday cake for my daughter? Or “Can I afford the $10 for my son to go on his school field trip? Those are the tough choices, not whether I can get a pedicure this week. I just think we get caught up in our own economic realities and forget what our problems might seem like to others.
I’m also not saying you should feel guilty about how you spend your money. You’ve worked hard for your money; you have the choice to spend it on whatever you want. Remember when you were a kid and you didn’t want to finish your meal? Your mom would say “There are people in Africa starving and you won’t eat.” “Well, I’m’ sorry mom. If I could Fedex this food to them I would, but I am full!” We do not need to feel guilty about what we have. (Whether we live in a society of excess is a different blog! Although, I will give you a clue as to how I feel. We do. And I am shamefully guilty of partaking in the excesses.) However, I do think if you can meet 2-3 of the above criteria—you should be socially conscious and donate some money to a worthy cause of your choice or at least pick at tag or two from a Giving Tree during the holidays.
I know, I sound judgmental. For those who know me, you know I hate to be judgmental. So I want to clarify my point—I don’t care if you get a pedicure twice a week—just don’t complain about not being able to buy your kids a school sweatshirt if you are getting pedicures twice a week!!! Do you get the point?
I think my feelings stem from growing up with my Dad. He would never say he couldn’t afford something. He grew up very poor. Breakfast for him consisted of coffee with crackers and lunch was mayonnaise between two pieces of bread. So, he worked hard to afford things for his family that he didn’t have as a child. So, as a matter of pride, I don’t think he uttered those words until the latter part of his life. (Even if he couldn’t afford something, he wouldn’t verbalize it)
Also, for those who know me, you know I am horrible at prioritizing my spending. The difference is, I will not complain about not having the money to do something. I may say I don’t think doing X is worth X amount of money. I’ll complain about the “value” of something or I might say, “I’m not willing to pay that.” Affording something is complex and personal. Some people consider they can “afford” it if they still have room on their credit card and others simple consider what they can “afford” by the amount of money in their bank account.
I guess it also comes down to honesty. I think some people use the words “I can’t afford it” as an excuse so they do not have to tell their friends, “I really don’t want to do that.” I guess if you fall into that boat, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m always for honesty, it is not always easy. I’d just come up with a better excuse.
Bottom line, be thankful for what you have and if you want something, think about how you can manage your money to get it!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
November Thoughts
Women Attacked by Chimp Sues CT for $150,000
I think this chimp attack was horrific. I do not know the chimp owner—but based on some stories that appeared in the press, I don’t think it is a stretch to say she had an unusual love for her chimp. I also do not know the woman attacked, however, from what I’ve read she was the woman’s friend and she often visited the woman and her chimp. In my opinion, if you frequently visited the chimp, it is questionable as to how fair is to now say the state should’ve taken action sooner.
Do I think the state should’ve taken action sooner? Probably. If they were aware of the chimp and the chimp’s escapades, action might have been a good idea. Let’s face it; you don’t usually see chimps driving cars. Alone. By themselves. Without a human in the car. With a human in the car, perhaps, but without, never.
I think this lawsuit now stands in a long line of lawsuits in our country that answers the question “Do you think we have a case?” vs. “Does it make sense and is this right thing to do?” I wonder what the victim’s opinion of her friend’s pet was prior to the accident. If she did visit the friend often, I’m led to believe she liked the chimp and supported her friend.
I know the victim’s life, and her family’s life, has been changed forever. I want you know, I feel for her and wish her the best. I just don’t think suing the state for $150,000,000 is the right answer. I understand that lawsuits like this one potentially serve a valiant purpose. “…if we sue the state now, hopefully this will not happen to another person.” I get that, but start with a lower number. This number just makes the suit seem ridiculous. It does get attention and perhaps that is the point However, aren’t we all becoming desensitized to sensationalism?
Obama and Fox News
Stop crying Mr. President and Mr. President’s staff. I don’t like Fox News either, but thank God, our Forefathers, Veterans, Soldiers and every American that came before us, that we live in a country with FREEDOM of SPEECH! Don’t get all dictatorship on us! George Bush didn’t wine about MSNBC ‘s Olberman , Maddow and others. We having an expression in our family when we think someone is becoming too sensitive about a topic…we simply say “SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. To the current administration, I say “SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.”
News In General
Okay, as I said in “Obama and Fox News”, I don’t care for Fox News. I should specifically say I don’t care for certain commentators (their not newscasters, remember) like Sean Hannity and Glen Beck. In fairness, I also do not care for MSNBC’s Keith Olberman and Rachel Maddow. They are all extremely “closed-minded”. Yes, even liberals can be closed-minded. When all you see is what you want to see—you have closed your mind. These people “act” as if we live in a black and white world—well we don’t. I wish people would get over that. We live in a world of gray. There are always, at least, two sides to every story. This type of media divides our country. They “rally” their troops with their sensationalized thoughts and ideas. Rush Limbaugh is the worst. In fact, he is in a category all to himself. He presents his thoughts and ideas with rancid venom. I wish as a nation, as humans, we could just try to look at every issue from multiple perspectives and then come to our OWN conclusions.
So, I don’t watch either of the networks mentioned. If I want “news” I rely on CNN for news (not commentary), my local stations, the internet and yes, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.
Parenting in the Age of the Internet
Okay parents, time to get a grip. (My kids absolutely hate when I say “get a grip”) Our children are growing up within a different time and culture. Is it good or bad? It really doesn’t matter because IT IS. We need to adapt. We also need to pay attention to every teachable moment. As parents, we still influence behavior. Are you on FaceBook? If not, you should be. Join it because it is fun and you will learn a great deal about the generation creeping up behind us. I am friends with my kids on FaceBook. It was a condition for them to open their accounts. I have not asked one of their friends to be my friend. Many of my friends did ask my children to be their friends. I told my kids, they only needed to accept my friendship request; they do not have to accept my friends. (They did, but I will say, a little hesitantly).
Since I am friends with them, I can often see pictures from other friends. (I don’t know if everyone realizes this, but if one of my friends is tagged in a photo, I receive notification.) So, I’ve witnessed cruel and crass comments made by other middle/high schoolers on some photos. I use those instances as “teachable moments”. I start a discussion with my kids and explain why I think the comments are inappropriate. They roll their eyes and say “But Mom, we didn’t make the comments.” I explain that we are having the discussion in hopes they that never do make such comments. I heard one parent describing her displeasure regarding the discipline her daughter received at school with respect to something she posted on Facebook. Perhaps the punishment was too harsh, I don’t know. However, never did I hear the Mom say “I know my daughter shouldn’t have posted it, and we discussed why it was wrong.” Hopefully, this did happen. I live by a philosophy at home and work, when something negative happens, one of the first questions you should ask yourself is “How did I contribute to this situation?” As parents, as wonderful as we think our children are—we need to ask “How did they contribute to this situation.” We need to teach accountability. I see parents often excusing their kid’s behavior. You have to call your kids on behavior you don’t like. You have to model the behavior you want.
Okay, I’m going to stop here, because I’m feeling too preachy. I’m not trying to preach and God knows, I’m not an expert at parenting. I don’t think that expertise exists. All we can do is our best attempt at raising responsible, accountable and respectful adults. (Now that is a job that deserves a bonus!)
Oh wait…I want to share a few things I’ve learned about the generation creeping up behind us. (This is not all from being friends with my kids, but I am friends with other family members of a young age too)
• They are not afraid to post swears on line for all to see. Don’t get me wrong, I swore in high school too (in fact, I still do sometimes) I just knew when and where to swear. I didn’t swear in front of adults, teachers, children, in public at the grocery store for all to hear….which is essentially the same thing as posting it on FaceBook.
• Girls are very insecure. When their friends post pictures they have to profess how gorgeous the girl is over and over and over again. I’ve actually seen “I wish I was as pretty as you.” Gag me with a spoon!!! (Okay, yes, I am that old). One thread of multiple girls praising the beauty of another girl really made me sad. Reasons it made me sad: One, that they valued looks so much; two that they seemed not to value their own looks; and three, that the praise for this girl almost seemed to come from a “needy” state. They “needed” to praise her to feel good or to be accepted.
• Young kids post way too much about their love lives. They profess their love, their fears, their needs, etc. Keep this between you, your boyfriend and your CLOSE friends, not the entire world on FB! (Don’t get me wrong, I like reading it—but really, some things should not be for public consumption)
• Kids are unintentionally hurtful. (Yes, some are intentionally hurtful but that is another story). For a generation growing up with wonderful technology, they don’t seem to get it. I’ve seen someone mention by name a girl that they apparently didn’t think to be pretty. (solely based on the comment made, which I will not repeat) The person who named this girl most likely was not FB friends with the girl. However, like I said, I had access to these posts because my niece was in one of the pictures. I was able to view the pictures and all the comments. I’m sure the girl that was named, who was in their grade eventually had the same access through one of her friends. (Another great teachable moment)
Okay, now I’m really done!
I think this chimp attack was horrific. I do not know the chimp owner—but based on some stories that appeared in the press, I don’t think it is a stretch to say she had an unusual love for her chimp. I also do not know the woman attacked, however, from what I’ve read she was the woman’s friend and she often visited the woman and her chimp. In my opinion, if you frequently visited the chimp, it is questionable as to how fair is to now say the state should’ve taken action sooner.
Do I think the state should’ve taken action sooner? Probably. If they were aware of the chimp and the chimp’s escapades, action might have been a good idea. Let’s face it; you don’t usually see chimps driving cars. Alone. By themselves. Without a human in the car. With a human in the car, perhaps, but without, never.
I think this lawsuit now stands in a long line of lawsuits in our country that answers the question “Do you think we have a case?” vs. “Does it make sense and is this right thing to do?” I wonder what the victim’s opinion of her friend’s pet was prior to the accident. If she did visit the friend often, I’m led to believe she liked the chimp and supported her friend.
I know the victim’s life, and her family’s life, has been changed forever. I want you know, I feel for her and wish her the best. I just don’t think suing the state for $150,000,000 is the right answer. I understand that lawsuits like this one potentially serve a valiant purpose. “…if we sue the state now, hopefully this will not happen to another person.” I get that, but start with a lower number. This number just makes the suit seem ridiculous. It does get attention and perhaps that is the point However, aren’t we all becoming desensitized to sensationalism?
Obama and Fox News
Stop crying Mr. President and Mr. President’s staff. I don’t like Fox News either, but thank God, our Forefathers, Veterans, Soldiers and every American that came before us, that we live in a country with FREEDOM of SPEECH! Don’t get all dictatorship on us! George Bush didn’t wine about MSNBC ‘s Olberman , Maddow and others. We having an expression in our family when we think someone is becoming too sensitive about a topic…we simply say “SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. To the current administration, I say “SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.”
News In General
Okay, as I said in “Obama and Fox News”, I don’t care for Fox News. I should specifically say I don’t care for certain commentators (their not newscasters, remember) like Sean Hannity and Glen Beck. In fairness, I also do not care for MSNBC’s Keith Olberman and Rachel Maddow. They are all extremely “closed-minded”. Yes, even liberals can be closed-minded. When all you see is what you want to see—you have closed your mind. These people “act” as if we live in a black and white world—well we don’t. I wish people would get over that. We live in a world of gray. There are always, at least, two sides to every story. This type of media divides our country. They “rally” their troops with their sensationalized thoughts and ideas. Rush Limbaugh is the worst. In fact, he is in a category all to himself. He presents his thoughts and ideas with rancid venom. I wish as a nation, as humans, we could just try to look at every issue from multiple perspectives and then come to our OWN conclusions.
So, I don’t watch either of the networks mentioned. If I want “news” I rely on CNN for news (not commentary), my local stations, the internet and yes, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.
Parenting in the Age of the Internet
Okay parents, time to get a grip. (My kids absolutely hate when I say “get a grip”) Our children are growing up within a different time and culture. Is it good or bad? It really doesn’t matter because IT IS. We need to adapt. We also need to pay attention to every teachable moment. As parents, we still influence behavior. Are you on FaceBook? If not, you should be. Join it because it is fun and you will learn a great deal about the generation creeping up behind us. I am friends with my kids on FaceBook. It was a condition for them to open their accounts. I have not asked one of their friends to be my friend. Many of my friends did ask my children to be their friends. I told my kids, they only needed to accept my friendship request; they do not have to accept my friends. (They did, but I will say, a little hesitantly).
Since I am friends with them, I can often see pictures from other friends. (I don’t know if everyone realizes this, but if one of my friends is tagged in a photo, I receive notification.) So, I’ve witnessed cruel and crass comments made by other middle/high schoolers on some photos. I use those instances as “teachable moments”. I start a discussion with my kids and explain why I think the comments are inappropriate. They roll their eyes and say “But Mom, we didn’t make the comments.” I explain that we are having the discussion in hopes they that never do make such comments. I heard one parent describing her displeasure regarding the discipline her daughter received at school with respect to something she posted on Facebook. Perhaps the punishment was too harsh, I don’t know. However, never did I hear the Mom say “I know my daughter shouldn’t have posted it, and we discussed why it was wrong.” Hopefully, this did happen. I live by a philosophy at home and work, when something negative happens, one of the first questions you should ask yourself is “How did I contribute to this situation?” As parents, as wonderful as we think our children are—we need to ask “How did they contribute to this situation.” We need to teach accountability. I see parents often excusing their kid’s behavior. You have to call your kids on behavior you don’t like. You have to model the behavior you want.
Okay, I’m going to stop here, because I’m feeling too preachy. I’m not trying to preach and God knows, I’m not an expert at parenting. I don’t think that expertise exists. All we can do is our best attempt at raising responsible, accountable and respectful adults. (Now that is a job that deserves a bonus!)
Oh wait…I want to share a few things I’ve learned about the generation creeping up behind us. (This is not all from being friends with my kids, but I am friends with other family members of a young age too)
• They are not afraid to post swears on line for all to see. Don’t get me wrong, I swore in high school too (in fact, I still do sometimes) I just knew when and where to swear. I didn’t swear in front of adults, teachers, children, in public at the grocery store for all to hear….which is essentially the same thing as posting it on FaceBook.
• Girls are very insecure. When their friends post pictures they have to profess how gorgeous the girl is over and over and over again. I’ve actually seen “I wish I was as pretty as you.” Gag me with a spoon!!! (Okay, yes, I am that old). One thread of multiple girls praising the beauty of another girl really made me sad. Reasons it made me sad: One, that they valued looks so much; two that they seemed not to value their own looks; and three, that the praise for this girl almost seemed to come from a “needy” state. They “needed” to praise her to feel good or to be accepted.
• Young kids post way too much about their love lives. They profess their love, their fears, their needs, etc. Keep this between you, your boyfriend and your CLOSE friends, not the entire world on FB! (Don’t get me wrong, I like reading it—but really, some things should not be for public consumption)
• Kids are unintentionally hurtful. (Yes, some are intentionally hurtful but that is another story). For a generation growing up with wonderful technology, they don’t seem to get it. I’ve seen someone mention by name a girl that they apparently didn’t think to be pretty. (solely based on the comment made, which I will not repeat) The person who named this girl most likely was not FB friends with the girl. However, like I said, I had access to these posts because my niece was in one of the pictures. I was able to view the pictures and all the comments. I’m sure the girl that was named, who was in their grade eventually had the same access through one of her friends. (Another great teachable moment)
Okay, now I’m really done!
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