Money, Money, Money

Money is a controversial topic. People think some have too much and most think they do not have enough. I think money issues boil down to personal priorities. I also think people shouldn’t talk about their lack of money or their abundance of money. Money issues are all relative. A family that lives in house that costs $900,000 can be in as much debt or money troubles as a person who lives in a house that costs $100,000. Also, a person who lives in a $100,000 house may be in much better financial shape compared to someone who lives in a $900,000 house. It boils down to how you manage your money. My husband’s grandfather used to say “Just because you spend a lot of money, doesn’t mean you have a lot of money.”--So true.

What frustrates me most about money? People who complain about not having enough, yet they seem to have a lot of stuff. I believe you do not have the right to complain about not being able to afford this or that if you meet 2 of the following criteria:

1.You or your partner has NOT recently lost your job. (e.g. your income remains unchanged)
2.You own a Coach purse.
3.You go for manicures and/or pedicures more than twice per year.
4.Your child wears a pair of UGGs or Emus or any brand of boot that cost more than $80.
5.You have more than 1 computer in your house.
6.There are more than 2 iPods in your household.
7.You have a gaming system in your house.
8.You contribute to a college savings account.
9.You own a house with a 3 car garage or you own a 2nd home.

I actually think I’m being generous. I almost put, “if you own a house.” So, I’ve turned half of you off now, right? Well, read carefully. I’m not judging you if you meet all of these criteria. I meet 6 out of the 9 criteria. I don’t care what you spend your money on; I also don’t care if you spend beyond your means. What I care about is you being out of touch with society and complaining about not being able to afford a night out to dinner or a weekend away! It is all a matter of how you prioritize your spending. You can afford to eat out and go on a vacation—you just need to prioritize differently. Personally, second to the essential needs of life, vacation is my next priority. I’d live without furniture, new shoes, and yes even my iPod, to go on a vacation. (Truthfully, I’d live without my kids’ college savings fund—but that just wouldn’t be nice. Would it? Anyone?)

Now, many different types of people can meet 2 out the 9 above. I’m willing to bet I can find people who meet 2 out of the 9 above who live below the poverty line and of course, those who live well above the poverty line. This is what I mean by “it is all relative and comes down to how you spend your money.” What do you give top priority?

(Okay, no jokesters. I get it if you say you can’t afford a $10,000 African Safari or $50,000/year college tuition. Although, also relative, I might not get it if Paris Hilton says that while parading around in her $10,000 outfit!)

Some people have difficult choices to make every day. Choices likes “Can I afford the extra money to buy ingredients to make a birthday cake for my daughter? Or “Can I afford the $10 for my son to go on his school field trip? Those are the tough choices, not whether I can get a pedicure this week. I just think we get caught up in our own economic realities and forget what our problems might seem like to others.

I’m also not saying you should feel guilty about how you spend your money. You’ve worked hard for your money; you have the choice to spend it on whatever you want. Remember when you were a kid and you didn’t want to finish your meal? Your mom would say “There are people in Africa starving and you won’t eat.” “Well, I’m’ sorry mom. If I could Fedex this food to them I would, but I am full!” We do not need to feel guilty about what we have. (Whether we live in a society of excess is a different blog! Although, I will give you a clue as to how I feel. We do. And I am shamefully guilty of partaking in the excesses.) However, I do think if you can meet 2-3 of the above criteria—you should be socially conscious and donate some money to a worthy cause of your choice or at least pick at tag or two from a Giving Tree during the holidays.

I know, I sound judgmental. For those who know me, you know I hate to be judgmental. So I want to clarify my point—I don’t care if you get a pedicure twice a week—just don’t complain about not being able to buy your kids a school sweatshirt if you are getting pedicures twice a week!!! Do you get the point?

I think my feelings stem from growing up with my Dad. He would never say he couldn’t afford something. He grew up very poor. Breakfast for him consisted of coffee with crackers and lunch was mayonnaise between two pieces of bread. So, he worked hard to afford things for his family that he didn’t have as a child. So, as a matter of pride, I don’t think he uttered those words until the latter part of his life. (Even if he couldn’t afford something, he wouldn’t verbalize it)

Also, for those who know me, you know I am horrible at prioritizing my spending. The difference is, I will not complain about not having the money to do something. I may say I don’t think doing X is worth X amount of money. I’ll complain about the “value” of something or I might say, “I’m not willing to pay that.” Affording something is complex and personal. Some people consider they can “afford” it if they still have room on their credit card and others simple consider what they can “afford” by the amount of money in their bank account.

I guess it also comes down to honesty. I think some people use the words “I can’t afford it” as an excuse so they do not have to tell their friends, “I really don’t want to do that.” I guess if you fall into that boat, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m always for honesty, it is not always easy. I’d just come up with a better excuse.

Bottom line, be thankful for what you have and if you want something, think about how you can manage your money to get it!