November Thoughts

Women Attacked by Chimp Sues CT for $150,000
I think this chimp attack was horrific. I do not know the chimp owner—but based on some stories that appeared in the press, I don’t think it is a stretch to say she had an unusual love for her chimp. I also do not know the woman attacked, however, from what I’ve read she was the woman’s friend and she often visited the woman and her chimp. In my opinion, if you frequently visited the chimp, it is questionable as to how fair is to now say the state should’ve taken action sooner.
Do I think the state should’ve taken action sooner? Probably. If they were aware of the chimp and the chimp’s escapades, action might have been a good idea. Let’s face it; you don’t usually see chimps driving cars. Alone. By themselves. Without a human in the car. With a human in the car, perhaps, but without, never.
I think this lawsuit now stands in a long line of lawsuits in our country that answers the question “Do you think we have a case?” vs. “Does it make sense and is this right thing to do?” I wonder what the victim’s opinion of her friend’s pet was prior to the accident. If she did visit the friend often, I’m led to believe she liked the chimp and supported her friend.
I know the victim’s life, and her family’s life, has been changed forever. I want you know, I feel for her and wish her the best. I just don’t think suing the state for $150,000,000 is the right answer. I understand that lawsuits like this one potentially serve a valiant purpose. “…if we sue the state now, hopefully this will not happen to another person.” I get that, but start with a lower number. This number just makes the suit seem ridiculous. It does get attention and perhaps that is the point However, aren’t we all becoming desensitized to sensationalism?

Obama and Fox News
Stop crying Mr. President and Mr. President’s staff. I don’t like Fox News either, but thank God, our Forefathers, Veterans, Soldiers and every American that came before us, that we live in a country with FREEDOM of SPEECH! Don’t get all dictatorship on us! George Bush didn’t wine about MSNBC ‘s Olberman , Maddow and others. We having an expression in our family when we think someone is becoming too sensitive about a topic…we simply say “SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. To the current administration, I say “SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.”

News In General
Okay, as I said in “Obama and Fox News”, I don’t care for Fox News. I should specifically say I don’t care for certain commentators (their not newscasters, remember) like Sean Hannity and Glen Beck. In fairness, I also do not care for MSNBC’s Keith Olberman and Rachel Maddow. They are all extremely “closed-minded”. Yes, even liberals can be closed-minded. When all you see is what you want to see—you have closed your mind. These people “act” as if we live in a black and white world—well we don’t. I wish people would get over that. We live in a world of gray. There are always, at least, two sides to every story. This type of media divides our country. They “rally” their troops with their sensationalized thoughts and ideas. Rush Limbaugh is the worst. In fact, he is in a category all to himself. He presents his thoughts and ideas with rancid venom. I wish as a nation, as humans, we could just try to look at every issue from multiple perspectives and then come to our OWN conclusions.
So, I don’t watch either of the networks mentioned. If I want “news” I rely on CNN for news (not commentary), my local stations, the internet and yes, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.

Parenting in the Age of the Internet
Okay parents, time to get a grip. (My kids absolutely hate when I say “get a grip”) Our children are growing up within a different time and culture. Is it good or bad? It really doesn’t matter because IT IS. We need to adapt. We also need to pay attention to every teachable moment. As parents, we still influence behavior. Are you on FaceBook? If not, you should be. Join it because it is fun and you will learn a great deal about the generation creeping up behind us. I am friends with my kids on FaceBook. It was a condition for them to open their accounts. I have not asked one of their friends to be my friend. Many of my friends did ask my children to be their friends. I told my kids, they only needed to accept my friendship request; they do not have to accept my friends. (They did, but I will say, a little hesitantly).
Since I am friends with them, I can often see pictures from other friends. (I don’t know if everyone realizes this, but if one of my friends is tagged in a photo, I receive notification.) So, I’ve witnessed cruel and crass comments made by other middle/high schoolers on some photos. I use those instances as “teachable moments”. I start a discussion with my kids and explain why I think the comments are inappropriate. They roll their eyes and say “But Mom, we didn’t make the comments.” I explain that we are having the discussion in hopes they that never do make such comments. I heard one parent describing her displeasure regarding the discipline her daughter received at school with respect to something she posted on Facebook. Perhaps the punishment was too harsh, I don’t know. However, never did I hear the Mom say “I know my daughter shouldn’t have posted it, and we discussed why it was wrong.” Hopefully, this did happen. I live by a philosophy at home and work, when something negative happens, one of the first questions you should ask yourself is “How did I contribute to this situation?” As parents, as wonderful as we think our children are—we need to ask “How did they contribute to this situation.” We need to teach accountability. I see parents often excusing their kid’s behavior. You have to call your kids on behavior you don’t like. You have to model the behavior you want.
Okay, I’m going to stop here, because I’m feeling too preachy. I’m not trying to preach and God knows, I’m not an expert at parenting. I don’t think that expertise exists. All we can do is our best attempt at raising responsible, accountable and respectful adults. (Now that is a job that deserves a bonus!)

Oh wait…I want to share a few things I’ve learned about the generation creeping up behind us. (This is not all from being friends with my kids, but I am friends with other family members of a young age too)

• They are not afraid to post swears on line for all to see. Don’t get me wrong, I swore in high school too (in fact, I still do sometimes) I just knew when and where to swear. I didn’t swear in front of adults, teachers, children, in public at the grocery store for all to hear….which is essentially the same thing as posting it on FaceBook.
• Girls are very insecure. When their friends post pictures they have to profess how gorgeous the girl is over and over and over again. I’ve actually seen “I wish I was as pretty as you.” Gag me with a spoon!!! (Okay, yes, I am that old). One thread of multiple girls praising the beauty of another girl really made me sad. Reasons it made me sad: One, that they valued looks so much; two that they seemed not to value their own looks; and three, that the praise for this girl almost seemed to come from a “needy” state. They “needed” to praise her to feel good or to be accepted.
• Young kids post way too much about their love lives. They profess their love, their fears, their needs, etc. Keep this between you, your boyfriend and your CLOSE friends, not the entire world on FB! (Don’t get me wrong, I like reading it—but really, some things should not be for public consumption)
• Kids are unintentionally hurtful. (Yes, some are intentionally hurtful but that is another story). For a generation growing up with wonderful technology, they don’t seem to get it. I’ve seen someone mention by name a girl that they apparently didn’t think to be pretty. (solely based on the comment made, which I will not repeat) The person who named this girl most likely was not FB friends with the girl. However, like I said, I had access to these posts because my niece was in one of the pictures. I was able to view the pictures and all the comments. I’m sure the girl that was named, who was in their grade eventually had the same access through one of her friends. (Another great teachable moment)

Okay, now I’m really done!