I know ratings are an important indicator of a show’s success, but so is water cooler buzz. Water cooler buzz over the last few weeks indicates people are not so keen on American Idol anymore. I know I’m not. If I was going to miss an episode during past seasons, I would definitely tape it. Now, I don’t. I ask my kids how everyone performed. You might say I don’t tape it because you can go online to view performances. I have not once looked up a performance from this season online. I’ve watched Idol since season one and I am finally ready to give it up. (Maybe…)
Why has it lost its flavor? My thoughts:
1. Four judges! It did not work last year (too long, too much pontificating). We do not need 4 people telling us “two” opinions. Was the performance good or bad? The reason three works is the tiebreaker. If two people disagree, you have a third to break the tie. The even number of four does not work here. (If you knew me, you’d know I’m a big fan of even numbers. So much so, you might call me superstitious. My TV volume is never set to an odd number and I pump my gas so the dollars spent equals an even number. Too much information about my neurosis?)
2. I miss Paula. (Did I just say that out loud?) I’m sorry I do. She was entertaining. I watched Idol 80% for the performances and 20% for Paula’s craziness. Admit it, even if you didn’t know you watched Idol for Paula, you miss her, don’t you? It is like the old saying “you don’t know what you had until it is gone.”
3. Substitute Paula does not work. Although I am one of the few that thinks Kara is sometimes the only one who gives constructive criticism (whether I agree with it or not…) I despise her attempts to be crazy with Simon. It is like the producers said, “Okay, Kara and Simon can you try to flirt with each other and create sort of what Paula and Simon had, but a little different?” STOP THE MADNESS! It is not working. It is nauseating and obviously contrived!
4. I don’t think Ellen is contributing to the loss of flavor—but I don't think she is adding value to the show. Again, the four judge panel approach is not working. In the beginning Ellen was able to be constructive, but now she is filling in for nice Paula. If she doesn’t want to say anything bad, she quickly turns it over to Kara. I think my expectations were too high for Ellen. I don’t think she is adding what the producers thought she would add.
5. Top 24. I don’t think the judges picked the “right” Top 24. I love the talent this year, but there is something missing. I haven’t put my finger on it yet. It is not lack of talent or lack of vocal diversity but it something. It just does not captivate like it used to. Some Adam crazed fans say it is because since they can never replicate Adam—Idol will never be the same anymore. I certainly do not subscribe to that! (Most of you know—I wasn’t a huge Adam fan.) I do agree last year, people did tune in to see what he might do or look like next. However, the show was successful for many years prior to Adam.
6. Simon is phoning in his comments this season. He knows it is his last year. He is different. Simon was always too harsh, but he was often on the mark. This year he is just innocuous. I think they are doomed next year without him. My best advice to the producers would be to find a smart, witty no-name to replace Simon. Do not try to fill his shoes with a big name. He was unknown to Americans prior to Idol. Do that again. (Try at least)
7. We are sick of the commercials and the length of the show. When you are down to 8 contestants, the show does not have to be 2 hours long. I get it. It is a business. You can sell 2 hours worth of commercial time, so why not? Why, because you are losing us!!!
8. Since I can’t end on “7” I need to think of an 8th reason. Oh, probably the one that frustrates me the most. Inconsistent judges comments!!! Ugh!! One week, the artist doesn’t make the song his/her own-- the next week the same artist changed the song too much. One week the artist sings to slow, the next week they sing too fast. I find that to be the most annoying part of the show. “Tim, why do you smile when we are criticizing you?” Perhaps because he is polite!! Who cares why he smiles? All you need to worry about as a judge is if he takes your criticism and uses it next week. Stop focusing on the inane!!! The judges are truly the reason why I’ve decided not to follow faithfully this year
Okay, I’m done. Yes, it comes down to the judges. Love to hear your thoughts!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Hate Veiled as Religion
Have you heard of the Westboro Baptist Church? Well, let me provide you some details. They are an anti-gay church (which, yes, by definition many religions have that as their “official” stance) whose members’ favorite pastime is protesting at the funeral services of American soldiers. Why? Well, because American soldiers defend a country that supports homosexuality. (I bet I can find a bunch of homosexuals that would say, “uh, no we don’t live in a country that supports homosexuality—we can’t even get married in most states!”) However, that is beside the point. Let me list how many ways their conduct is wrong:
1)In the simplest terms—just downright callous and disrespectful.
2)Their website is actually www.godhatesfags.com. Okay, you know what God hates? Haters, that is what! How can you hide behind God and spew such hatred? Look, if you don’t like homosexuality—I won’t call you out on that. This is a free country—you have the right to agree or not to agree with someone’s lifestyle. However, you do not have the right to be judge and jury. I will not judge you because I disagree with your stance on homosexuality, but I will judge you for your lack of compassion, insensitivity and mob like mentality. Oh, and I will judge you for using God as a shield. The God I worship, would not be happy about that.
3)If you do not want soldiers protecting a country that supports homosexuality, why do you live in a country that “supports” it? Hey, we live in a free country remember? You can leave any time. Let me list a few of the countries you might feel more comfortable in because they are not tolerant of homosexuality and consider it a crime: Somalia, Sudan, Uganda, Afghanistan, Iran….just to name a few. Why don’t you pack your passports, bags and bibles and move out!
4)WWJD? He wouldn’t protest a funeral--that is for sure. A family is grieving over losing a young son/daughter, husband/wife, father/mother, they do not need publicity hungry hate mongers disturbing their worship. According to scripture, when Pontius Pilate asked the crowd who should be saved, Barrabas or Jesus, they chose Barrabas. Even then Jesus did not hate or judge. Why do you, members of the Westboro church?
I actually went to their website and took a peek at their picket schedule. Guess where they are heading in April? Virginia Tech. Yes, a week before the anniversary of the tragic shootings, they will be there protesting. These are quotes from their website regarding why they are at VT:
•“WBC to picket Virginia Tech to connect the dots. God sent the killer because of your proud sin!”
•“... they think fornication, adultery, and sodomy are all just in good fun (instead of the filthy practices they are), and that's why the wrath of God is on them. God is cursing you by killing those same children that you have lied to all their lives. VA Tech was just GodSmacked”
I support Freedom of Speech—whether it is speech I agree with or do not agree with. However, there is a time and a place. If they are so unhappy with laws and legislation, the most prudent place for them to protest would be at state capitals, Washington, etc. Not at a funeral.
The most dividing thing in this country is narrow-mindedness. It doesn’t matter if you are a Republican, a Democrat, a conservative, a liberal, a Christian, a Jew, a Muslim or an atheist…what matters is that you can keep your mind open and maintain more than a single focus. It is okay for us to disagree—what kind of boring world would we live in if we all were the same with the same ideas and beliefs? We need compassion, trust and a judgment free zone. It sickens me that this group claims to be spreading the word of any God. Actually, take God out of the picture. It sickens me that HUMANS (the one thing we all have in common) would create such a hostile environment on such a mournful day. I’m stepping out of my judgment free zone-to say that this is shameful and disappointing.
1)In the simplest terms—just downright callous and disrespectful.
2)Their website is actually www.godhatesfags.com. Okay, you know what God hates? Haters, that is what! How can you hide behind God and spew such hatred? Look, if you don’t like homosexuality—I won’t call you out on that. This is a free country—you have the right to agree or not to agree with someone’s lifestyle. However, you do not have the right to be judge and jury. I will not judge you because I disagree with your stance on homosexuality, but I will judge you for your lack of compassion, insensitivity and mob like mentality. Oh, and I will judge you for using God as a shield. The God I worship, would not be happy about that.
3)If you do not want soldiers protecting a country that supports homosexuality, why do you live in a country that “supports” it? Hey, we live in a free country remember? You can leave any time. Let me list a few of the countries you might feel more comfortable in because they are not tolerant of homosexuality and consider it a crime: Somalia, Sudan, Uganda, Afghanistan, Iran….just to name a few. Why don’t you pack your passports, bags and bibles and move out!
4)WWJD? He wouldn’t protest a funeral--that is for sure. A family is grieving over losing a young son/daughter, husband/wife, father/mother, they do not need publicity hungry hate mongers disturbing their worship. According to scripture, when Pontius Pilate asked the crowd who should be saved, Barrabas or Jesus, they chose Barrabas. Even then Jesus did not hate or judge. Why do you, members of the Westboro church?
I actually went to their website and took a peek at their picket schedule. Guess where they are heading in April? Virginia Tech. Yes, a week before the anniversary of the tragic shootings, they will be there protesting. These are quotes from their website regarding why they are at VT:
•“WBC to picket Virginia Tech to connect the dots. God sent the killer because of your proud sin!”
•“... they think fornication, adultery, and sodomy are all just in good fun (instead of the filthy practices they are), and that's why the wrath of God is on them. God is cursing you by killing those same children that you have lied to all their lives. VA Tech was just GodSmacked”
I support Freedom of Speech—whether it is speech I agree with or do not agree with. However, there is a time and a place. If they are so unhappy with laws and legislation, the most prudent place for them to protest would be at state capitals, Washington, etc. Not at a funeral.
The most dividing thing in this country is narrow-mindedness. It doesn’t matter if you are a Republican, a Democrat, a conservative, a liberal, a Christian, a Jew, a Muslim or an atheist…what matters is that you can keep your mind open and maintain more than a single focus. It is okay for us to disagree—what kind of boring world would we live in if we all were the same with the same ideas and beliefs? We need compassion, trust and a judgment free zone. It sickens me that this group claims to be spreading the word of any God. Actually, take God out of the picture. It sickens me that HUMANS (the one thing we all have in common) would create such a hostile environment on such a mournful day. I’m stepping out of my judgment free zone-to say that this is shameful and disappointing.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
My Quest to Raise "Achievers"
I struggled with the title of this blog. I’ve struggled with writing the blog. For months, I’ve wanted to tackle this topic but lacked the confidence to do it justice. I’m still not sure if I’m up to the task—but I will try. (Editors Note: I didn't do it justice--but I'm posting it anyway)
I wish my children had the opportunity to grow up in the 70’s and 80’s, like I did. I often wonder if my parents would‘ve said “I wish swirlgirl had the opportunity to grow up in the 50’s and 60’s. I bet they wouldn’t make that statement. Why do I wish that for my children? Mainly because I think the 21st century parent is insane. I grew up in simpler time.
Parents put so much pressure on kids today to excel in EVERYTHING! I think we should expect our kids to do their best—but we shouldn’t always expect them to do more and more and more and more. I remember when my daughter was in 3rd grade this conversation took place:
Other Mom: What activities is your daughter in?
Me: Well, she is a Girl Scout and she cheerleads in the fall.
Other Mom: Well, what else? Dance? A sport?
Me: Uh No. She tried dancing for a couple of years and didn’t want to continue and she is not into sports.
Other Mom: (Just a confused look on her face)
Me: My other daughter swims, plays basketball and softball.
Other Mom: (Lightbulb and smile) Oh, great.
You know that after that conversation she thought daughter one must have “issues”. Contrary, I think daughter one knows her boundaries and knows what she likes. A very stable outlook!
Seriously, I’ve heard other moms state that people look at them with three heads when they mention their child is only in one activity. Can you imagine a child that is NOT in soccer, learning Chinese, taking flute lessons, and creating her own website at age 7? Appalling!
I’m all for exposing children to many opportunities, but when is enough, enough? Why do parents have to push their kids so much farther than they were pushed? My kids are much older now and we face new challenges. Now you are looked at like a crazy person when you say you wish your kid had room to take a study hall in their schedule. Apparently, study halls are for future derelicts who will be begging for coins on the corner. Call me crazy, but I like a study hall. Our evenings are busy enough, if my kids can get some work done during school, I say TERRIFIC!!! Do I want them to have more than one study hall? Absolutely not. However, one is fine if the schedule allows it! The reaction to “I don’t mind them having one study hall” is almost the same reaction as if I said “My kids start their day with a hit of crack.” (I’m so out of it—can you even take a hit of crack?)
So, are my husband and I grooming underachievers? I don’t think so. I do think we are purposely raising ACHIEVERS and purposely and strategically not raising OVERACHIEVERS. Again, if you’ve read my blogs—I’m not judging you if you are purposely raising overachievers—just don’t judge my achievers! This is a lifestyle choice for my family. Here is what I want for my kids:
1. Happiness (priority number one)
2. Good Health
3. Confidence and a strong belief in who they are as a person.
4. Success (on THEIR terms—not mine! They can decide what success looks like for them and aim to achieve that level of success)
5. Balance. I want them to have a mix of fun, duty, and exposure to new things.
6. The ability to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously.
I’ve known parents that struggle over writing the perfect application for entry into a private kindergarten that will cost $15,000!! I know parents that pay $25,000 a year for an elementary school. I think that is great if you can afford it and you think that is the best thing for your child. However, I do take issue with the thought that a $15,000 kindergarten is the only way your child will get accepted to Yale. Slow down parents; take one year at a time! Why does every parent want their kid to go to the BEST college? I want my kids to go to the school that fits them best. I don’t care which school they choose, as long as it makes sense for them. I’ll admit, Yale will get your foot in the door—but it won’t keep you there. I worked in a department that the PHDs from elite schools were always let go because they were too academic for the corporate world. I’m not saying that is always the case. My point is there is not an “always” the case. Successful people graduate from a variety of colleges and have variety of academic backgrounds. Some successful people do not even have college degrees!
The person that I consider to be one of the most successful people I know, attended a two year community college and then attended a weekend college to achieve her bachelor’s degree. She did this while she was married, working and raising her children. In high school she was an average student I venture to guess her GPA was (at most) a 3.0. She now owns four OT/PT Clinics, has been happily married for 23 years and has two well-adjusted children. I know so many parents right now that would be (unfairly) disappointed if she was their high school child and was bringing home those average grades in average classes. However,those same parents would be extremely proud of her current life. In the real world your current actions are worth more than your background. One of the keys to my friend’s success is that she knew what she wanted to do with her life. She knew in high school she wanted to be an occupational therapist. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I found myself taking the practice LSAT the other day. I actually did pretty well. However, do I want to go through all the effort of law school, when I don’t even want to be a lawyer? I’ll figure out my next chapter in about three years when kids are off to college.
As a society, we are pushing and challenging our kids at younger and younger ages. When my daughter began cheerleading, the youngest group of girls was not allowed to do any “stunts” even the elementary ones that aren’t really stunts, but they look cute. Now, they can do a half-lift? So, does that mean in 15 years the 6 year olds will be doing full lifts and throws? When do we stop? I also think in 15 years our kids might be tackling calculus by 7th grade.
We need to let our kids fail sometimes. It is okay if your child comes home with a C or an F. It is a learning experience. I know parents that have wanted to switch their children from one class to another because they were receiving B’s instead of A’s. STOP THE MADNESS. Every student can’t get a 4.0. I question schools that have so many “fantastic” students!
We need to relax as parents. Our kids will do just fine if we give them the freedom to be who they are and do what they want. Our only rule in our house is that college is a must. After college, you can choose any profession you want (that is legal of course!). If you want to be a waiter, be a waiter. If you want to be a hairdresser, be a hairdresser. If you want to be a lawyer, be a lawyer. If you want to be a teacher, be a teacher. (You get the picture, right?)
Don’t plan out your child’s life when they’re born. Let them evolve.
(Follow Up comment: I'm all for overachieving and overachievers--when it comes naturally to the person. I believe it is a natural instinct vs. something that should be forced.)
I wish my children had the opportunity to grow up in the 70’s and 80’s, like I did. I often wonder if my parents would‘ve said “I wish swirlgirl had the opportunity to grow up in the 50’s and 60’s. I bet they wouldn’t make that statement. Why do I wish that for my children? Mainly because I think the 21st century parent is insane. I grew up in simpler time.
Parents put so much pressure on kids today to excel in EVERYTHING! I think we should expect our kids to do their best—but we shouldn’t always expect them to do more and more and more and more. I remember when my daughter was in 3rd grade this conversation took place:
Other Mom: What activities is your daughter in?
Me: Well, she is a Girl Scout and she cheerleads in the fall.
Other Mom: Well, what else? Dance? A sport?
Me: Uh No. She tried dancing for a couple of years and didn’t want to continue and she is not into sports.
Other Mom: (Just a confused look on her face)
Me: My other daughter swims, plays basketball and softball.
Other Mom: (Lightbulb and smile) Oh, great.
You know that after that conversation she thought daughter one must have “issues”. Contrary, I think daughter one knows her boundaries and knows what she likes. A very stable outlook!
Seriously, I’ve heard other moms state that people look at them with three heads when they mention their child is only in one activity. Can you imagine a child that is NOT in soccer, learning Chinese, taking flute lessons, and creating her own website at age 7? Appalling!
I’m all for exposing children to many opportunities, but when is enough, enough? Why do parents have to push their kids so much farther than they were pushed? My kids are much older now and we face new challenges. Now you are looked at like a crazy person when you say you wish your kid had room to take a study hall in their schedule. Apparently, study halls are for future derelicts who will be begging for coins on the corner. Call me crazy, but I like a study hall. Our evenings are busy enough, if my kids can get some work done during school, I say TERRIFIC!!! Do I want them to have more than one study hall? Absolutely not. However, one is fine if the schedule allows it! The reaction to “I don’t mind them having one study hall” is almost the same reaction as if I said “My kids start their day with a hit of crack.” (I’m so out of it—can you even take a hit of crack?)
So, are my husband and I grooming underachievers? I don’t think so. I do think we are purposely raising ACHIEVERS and purposely and strategically not raising OVERACHIEVERS. Again, if you’ve read my blogs—I’m not judging you if you are purposely raising overachievers—just don’t judge my achievers! This is a lifestyle choice for my family. Here is what I want for my kids:
1. Happiness (priority number one)
2. Good Health
3. Confidence and a strong belief in who they are as a person.
4. Success (on THEIR terms—not mine! They can decide what success looks like for them and aim to achieve that level of success)
5. Balance. I want them to have a mix of fun, duty, and exposure to new things.
6. The ability to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously.
I’ve known parents that struggle over writing the perfect application for entry into a private kindergarten that will cost $15,000!! I know parents that pay $25,000 a year for an elementary school. I think that is great if you can afford it and you think that is the best thing for your child. However, I do take issue with the thought that a $15,000 kindergarten is the only way your child will get accepted to Yale. Slow down parents; take one year at a time! Why does every parent want their kid to go to the BEST college? I want my kids to go to the school that fits them best. I don’t care which school they choose, as long as it makes sense for them. I’ll admit, Yale will get your foot in the door—but it won’t keep you there. I worked in a department that the PHDs from elite schools were always let go because they were too academic for the corporate world. I’m not saying that is always the case. My point is there is not an “always” the case. Successful people graduate from a variety of colleges and have variety of academic backgrounds. Some successful people do not even have college degrees!
The person that I consider to be one of the most successful people I know, attended a two year community college and then attended a weekend college to achieve her bachelor’s degree. She did this while she was married, working and raising her children. In high school she was an average student I venture to guess her GPA was (at most) a 3.0. She now owns four OT/PT Clinics, has been happily married for 23 years and has two well-adjusted children. I know so many parents right now that would be (unfairly) disappointed if she was their high school child and was bringing home those average grades in average classes. However,those same parents would be extremely proud of her current life. In the real world your current actions are worth more than your background. One of the keys to my friend’s success is that she knew what she wanted to do with her life. She knew in high school she wanted to be an occupational therapist. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I found myself taking the practice LSAT the other day. I actually did pretty well. However, do I want to go through all the effort of law school, when I don’t even want to be a lawyer? I’ll figure out my next chapter in about three years when kids are off to college.
As a society, we are pushing and challenging our kids at younger and younger ages. When my daughter began cheerleading, the youngest group of girls was not allowed to do any “stunts” even the elementary ones that aren’t really stunts, but they look cute. Now, they can do a half-lift? So, does that mean in 15 years the 6 year olds will be doing full lifts and throws? When do we stop? I also think in 15 years our kids might be tackling calculus by 7th grade.
We need to let our kids fail sometimes. It is okay if your child comes home with a C or an F. It is a learning experience. I know parents that have wanted to switch their children from one class to another because they were receiving B’s instead of A’s. STOP THE MADNESS. Every student can’t get a 4.0. I question schools that have so many “fantastic” students!
We need to relax as parents. Our kids will do just fine if we give them the freedom to be who they are and do what they want. Our only rule in our house is that college is a must. After college, you can choose any profession you want (that is legal of course!). If you want to be a waiter, be a waiter. If you want to be a hairdresser, be a hairdresser. If you want to be a lawyer, be a lawyer. If you want to be a teacher, be a teacher. (You get the picture, right?)
Don’t plan out your child’s life when they’re born. Let them evolve.
(Follow Up comment: I'm all for overachieving and overachievers--when it comes naturally to the person. I believe it is a natural instinct vs. something that should be forced.)
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
"Tha Hangover" deserves an Oscar Nomination
Although my title is clear and concise, prepare yourself for a rollercoaster of rants and tangents within this topic!
Yes, I think “The Hangover” should be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar. What? No, I have seen the Oscars before. In fact, I watch them every year. It is my second favorite award ceremony to watch (Golden Globes are my favorite!). I know movies like “The Hangover” are not usually nominated, but I’m saying it is time. I don’t think it should win. If you’ve followed my blog, my tweets, my Facebook status’ you know I think “The Hurt Locker” is the best movie of the year. If that movie DOESN”T get nominated—I’ll be boiling mad. I might even make an idle threat not to watch this year!
Back to “The Hangover.” This movie is one of the funniest movies to be released in years. It is fresh and new. It is not a romantic comedy and it is not a silly slapstick movie. It is genuinely funny and surprising. Although, universal appeal is not a requirement for an Oscar nod, I am impressed by the universal appeal of this movie. I have yet to meet anyone, or read a FB status, tweet, etc. from anyone who has not thought this movie was uproariously funny. I’m sure there is one or two that exist, but I have not crossed paths with them. This movie is loved by men, women, young and old. For a comedy, that is unusual. My kids can’t stop singing the “Stu” song. (Note: this is an R rated movie--not for young kids!)
I think the Academy needs to drop its pretentious haughtiness and nominate this movie. The funny thing is --we all refer to “the academy” like they are this secret society of accomplished film makers. The academy is a very diverse group, so it is surprising when they fall into certain nominating patterns.
I think Zach Galifainakas should be nominated for a Supporting Actor nom. I also thought Gene Wilder was robbed in ’71. He definitely deserved a nomination for Willy Wonka—his performance in that movie was flawless. If you are offering an acting award it should be about the acting, not the movie. (Believe me—that is not a dig on Willy Wonka. Willy Wonka was an awesome movie!!!)
If this was a court of law, I would cite the 1966 Best Picture nominated film “The Russians Are Coming, The Russians are Coming” as a precedent for nominating “The Hangover.” At the time, TRCTRC was a groundbreaking funny movie. (Also, it is another one of my favorites.) Thankfully, the wonderful Alan Arkin was nominated for his portrayal of the Russian captain. He lost to Paul Scolfield for his role in “A Man for All Seasons.” However, Mr. Arkin was rightfully nominated. (Truth be told, I had a little crush on him when I was little.) Side rant— he was also FANTASTIC in the “The Defection of Simas Kudirkas” and “The In-Laws”. And…if you haven’t seen the movie “Poppi” try to find it on DVD. Okay, off my Alan Arkin rant.
Bottom line, if “The Russians are Coming, The Russians are Coming” (and other comedies such as “Tootsie” and “The Full Monty”) received the Oscar nod, the door is open for “The Hangover.” Okay, I know, at least the 1966 film presented a satirical view of the Cold War, but you could argue “The Hangover” is a poignant tale of loyalty and friendship. And hey, they touch on the War on Terror when “Alan” sarcastically thanks Bin Laden for limiting his airplane activities. (Okay, that point may not help my cause, since there are many "inappropriate" and some may say "vulgar" moments in the movie that are not typically included in Oscar films.)
My other wish for this year’s Oscars is that Jeremy Renner is nominated for “The Hurt Locker.” His performance was spot on! His co-stars are also worthy of a mention - Anthony Mackie and Brian Geraghty. If I believed in handing out Supporting Actor awards for 5 minute performances a la Judi Dench in “Shakespeare in Love.” I would say Guy Pearce should be nominated for “The Hurt Locker.” However, I think there are too many fantastic performances in a year to give the prestigious award to a 5 minute performance. Perhaps they should add a category, “Best Under 10min Performance.”
If “The Hangover” and “The Hurt Locker” are not nominated, it won’t be the first time that a movie is robbed of a nomination, IMHO. In 1989, I thought “Do the Right Thing” was worthy of a nomination. Spike Lee’s slice of life insight into Brooklyn was one of my favorite movies that year. However, as I look back at the competition, there were five solid movies nominated that year: My Left Foot, Born on the Fourth of July, Field of Dreams, Driving Miss Daisy, and Dead Poet’s Society. The statue went to Driving Miss Daisy. Daniel Day won for My Left Foot (definitely deserved), however if I had to take out one movie for “Do The Right Thing” in, it might be “My Left Foot.” Great movie and great story—but I think “Do The Right Thing” was a better overall film.
We will know the nominees on January 22. It has been a good year for movies, so I won’t hold my breath for “The Hangover” but I will hold out hope. Don’t forget to watch The Golden Globes this Sunday!! (Go “The Hurt Locker” for drama and “The Hangover” for Comedy/Musical)
Random Oscar Notes:
•Perennial nominees are a drag. (Actors nominated for almost any role they’re in e.g. Jack Nicholson. He is a great actor but I think other performances are sometimes overlooked when a perennial fave has a movie out. Don’t get me started on the overrated and over awarded movie “As Good As It Gets”—for which Jack took home the prize that year.
•I love the Lee Marvin win for “Cat Ballou”. Great performance!!! (Love that movie too!)
•Surpised “Towering Inferno” and “Working Girl” both garnered Best Picture noms.
•Loved the nomination for “Babe”
•I loved that an animated feature was finally nominated, however, wasn’t super happy about it being “Beauty and the Beast. I love a Disney movie—but that is my least favorite.
•I think Johnny Depp is becoming a perennial favorite. However, I do think one of his best performances was in Donnie Brasco. DB was overlooked in 1997.(Same year as “As Good As It Gets” and a little film called “Titanic”) It also was a great performance for Al Pacino.. I would’ve liked to see AP win for that versus “Scent of a Woman.”
•Tommy Lee Jones should’ve won for Best Supporting Actor for “JFK.” (Although, I could be contradicting myself, it was a small role—but if I remember correctly, it was longer than 5 minutes.)
Yes, I think “The Hangover” should be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar. What? No, I have seen the Oscars before. In fact, I watch them every year. It is my second favorite award ceremony to watch (Golden Globes are my favorite!). I know movies like “The Hangover” are not usually nominated, but I’m saying it is time. I don’t think it should win. If you’ve followed my blog, my tweets, my Facebook status’ you know I think “The Hurt Locker” is the best movie of the year. If that movie DOESN”T get nominated—I’ll be boiling mad. I might even make an idle threat not to watch this year!
Back to “The Hangover.” This movie is one of the funniest movies to be released in years. It is fresh and new. It is not a romantic comedy and it is not a silly slapstick movie. It is genuinely funny and surprising. Although, universal appeal is not a requirement for an Oscar nod, I am impressed by the universal appeal of this movie. I have yet to meet anyone, or read a FB status, tweet, etc. from anyone who has not thought this movie was uproariously funny. I’m sure there is one or two that exist, but I have not crossed paths with them. This movie is loved by men, women, young and old. For a comedy, that is unusual. My kids can’t stop singing the “Stu” song. (Note: this is an R rated movie--not for young kids!)
I think the Academy needs to drop its pretentious haughtiness and nominate this movie. The funny thing is --we all refer to “the academy” like they are this secret society of accomplished film makers. The academy is a very diverse group, so it is surprising when they fall into certain nominating patterns.
I think Zach Galifainakas should be nominated for a Supporting Actor nom. I also thought Gene Wilder was robbed in ’71. He definitely deserved a nomination for Willy Wonka—his performance in that movie was flawless. If you are offering an acting award it should be about the acting, not the movie. (Believe me—that is not a dig on Willy Wonka. Willy Wonka was an awesome movie!!!)
If this was a court of law, I would cite the 1966 Best Picture nominated film “The Russians Are Coming, The Russians are Coming” as a precedent for nominating “The Hangover.” At the time, TRCTRC was a groundbreaking funny movie. (Also, it is another one of my favorites.) Thankfully, the wonderful Alan Arkin was nominated for his portrayal of the Russian captain. He lost to Paul Scolfield for his role in “A Man for All Seasons.” However, Mr. Arkin was rightfully nominated. (Truth be told, I had a little crush on him when I was little.) Side rant— he was also FANTASTIC in the “The Defection of Simas Kudirkas” and “The In-Laws”. And…if you haven’t seen the movie “Poppi” try to find it on DVD. Okay, off my Alan Arkin rant.
Bottom line, if “The Russians are Coming, The Russians are Coming” (and other comedies such as “Tootsie” and “The Full Monty”) received the Oscar nod, the door is open for “The Hangover.” Okay, I know, at least the 1966 film presented a satirical view of the Cold War, but you could argue “The Hangover” is a poignant tale of loyalty and friendship. And hey, they touch on the War on Terror when “Alan” sarcastically thanks Bin Laden for limiting his airplane activities. (Okay, that point may not help my cause, since there are many "inappropriate" and some may say "vulgar" moments in the movie that are not typically included in Oscar films.)
My other wish for this year’s Oscars is that Jeremy Renner is nominated for “The Hurt Locker.” His performance was spot on! His co-stars are also worthy of a mention - Anthony Mackie and Brian Geraghty. If I believed in handing out Supporting Actor awards for 5 minute performances a la Judi Dench in “Shakespeare in Love.” I would say Guy Pearce should be nominated for “The Hurt Locker.” However, I think there are too many fantastic performances in a year to give the prestigious award to a 5 minute performance. Perhaps they should add a category, “Best Under 10min Performance.”
If “The Hangover” and “The Hurt Locker” are not nominated, it won’t be the first time that a movie is robbed of a nomination, IMHO. In 1989, I thought “Do the Right Thing” was worthy of a nomination. Spike Lee’s slice of life insight into Brooklyn was one of my favorite movies that year. However, as I look back at the competition, there were five solid movies nominated that year: My Left Foot, Born on the Fourth of July, Field of Dreams, Driving Miss Daisy, and Dead Poet’s Society. The statue went to Driving Miss Daisy. Daniel Day won for My Left Foot (definitely deserved), however if I had to take out one movie for “Do The Right Thing” in, it might be “My Left Foot.” Great movie and great story—but I think “Do The Right Thing” was a better overall film.
We will know the nominees on January 22. It has been a good year for movies, so I won’t hold my breath for “The Hangover” but I will hold out hope. Don’t forget to watch The Golden Globes this Sunday!! (Go “The Hurt Locker” for drama and “The Hangover” for Comedy/Musical)
Random Oscar Notes:
•Perennial nominees are a drag. (Actors nominated for almost any role they’re in e.g. Jack Nicholson. He is a great actor but I think other performances are sometimes overlooked when a perennial fave has a movie out. Don’t get me started on the overrated and over awarded movie “As Good As It Gets”—for which Jack took home the prize that year.
•I love the Lee Marvin win for “Cat Ballou”. Great performance!!! (Love that movie too!)
•Surpised “Towering Inferno” and “Working Girl” both garnered Best Picture noms.
•Loved the nomination for “Babe”
•I loved that an animated feature was finally nominated, however, wasn’t super happy about it being “Beauty and the Beast. I love a Disney movie—but that is my least favorite.
•I think Johnny Depp is becoming a perennial favorite. However, I do think one of his best performances was in Donnie Brasco. DB was overlooked in 1997.(Same year as “As Good As It Gets” and a little film called “Titanic”) It also was a great performance for Al Pacino.. I would’ve liked to see AP win for that versus “Scent of a Woman.”
•Tommy Lee Jones should’ve won for Best Supporting Actor for “JFK.” (Although, I could be contradicting myself, it was a small role—but if I remember correctly, it was longer than 5 minutes.)
Saturday, December 26, 2009
The Best and Worst of 2009
2009 started off for me, right where 2008 left off. My father passed away in December of 2008 and on January 2, 2009 we took my mom to the Emergency room. She passed away 24 days later. It is hard to mention these two losses without mentioning that in December of 2007, my nephew passed away quite unexpectedly. My mantra after my nephew’s passing was “2008 has to be a better year”. My mantra after my father’s passing was “2009 has to be a better year.” After my mom’s passing, I gave up on mantras.
So, you can glean the worst of 2009 for me. Could there be a best after all of that? Yes, out of darkness there is always light. I don’t believe I’ve been one to take my friends and family for granted. However, when you are in the midst of foggy grief, endless trips to the hospital, making life decisions you’d never, ever wish upon anyone, you do truly realize how the connections you make in life are a true life support system for you. I’ve always been cognizant of how wonderful my friends and family are, but during that time, all their lights shined on for miles. I realized how blessed I truly am. So, personally, I’ve experienced the worst through loss and the best through the lights of all my friends and family.
Now, I need to lighten up the mood and share what I think is the Best and Worst of 2009 in the world around us. I tried to avoid many of the obvious choices, however, some are listed with my own twist!
Best of 2009—(not in any particular order):
The World of Entertainment
• LOST returns for a fantastic season! Thank you Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse. I’d also like to mention that Matthew Fox does not get enough credit for his acting. I know some people think his character is annoying—but I think his acting is on the mark!
• Seinfeld Reunion on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” - TV at its absolute best!!! Kudos to Larry David and the entire cast! If you are Seinfeld fan, it should not be missed! Now I just need Aaron Sorkin to film a semi-autobiographical sitcom so I can stop holding my breath for a “Sports Night” reunion!
• “The Hurt Locker”- I said it before, I’ll say it again—best movie of the year.
• Glee—although sometimes I think it crosses an unnecessary line—it is fresh and new for network TV!
• Bones – continues to entertain. I often drop one hour shows after about season three because they become uninteresting and formulaic. (Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy…) However, I still cannot get enough of Bones!!! Thanks to the amazing writing and the amazing cast!
• Friday Night Lights is still surviving!! Yipee! Why this show does not receive more nominations is beyond me. The writing and acting are fantastic!
• The Office—Jim and Pam’s Wedding! Woot! Woot!! Great fun!
• Community and Modern Family—great new sitcoms!
• Here’s What…@Bravo Andy hosts a weekly show!! Just wish it was on at 11pm vs. Midnight!! (Okay, so I’m getting older…..)
The World Outside of Entertainment
• Twitter(new to me as a user in ’09) At first, I didn’t get the purpose. Now that I get it, I’m addicted. Best three folks to follow: @HartHanson, @JoshMalina and @JackGrayCNN. Their wit and insight brighten my day.
• Our first African-American President is elected. Politics aside that was a great moment for American history. Even my staunch conservative uncle, who is not an Obama fan (Calling him “not a fan” is cushioning the reality of his dislike for Obama’s politics) sent an email on January 20, 2009 saying what a great day for the history of our country. Now we just need a woman president!! (Of course--only if she is the right person for the job!)
• A gutsy pilot, a plane and the Hudson River. Captain Sullenberger and Flight 1549—an amazing story that captivates us because we all fear flying at least a tad. This story gives us hope.
• Girl, 14, rescued after Yemeni plane crashes in Indian Ocean. This is a story I still cannot believe. A plane crashes into the ocean and everyone dies except one 14 year old girl. How does that happen? Truly a miracle! I hope she is doing well, I’m sure she can’t believe it herself.
• Jacoby Ellsbury Steals Home!!! How cool!!
• Los Angeles Anaheim Angels—Entire starting lineup bats at .300 or above at one point.
• My friend’s brother battles cancer and wins!!!
• My niece battles cancer and wins!!!
• Beyonce’s Grace.
• Connecting with friends on Facebook!
• My daughter takes a passionate interest in something……(See the Worst)
Worst of 2009 (Not in any particular order)
• Her passion? Justin Bieber. Don’t get me wrong, he seems like a very respectable, humble, nice young man. I just wish as much thought and concern went into her math homework as it does for strategically placing hundreds of Bieber pictures on her wall.
• Jay Leno continues his show. I won’t elaborate, previous blogs explain it all. (Ha Ha Time Magazine—I guess he didn’t change the face of television!)
• “Partisanship” within our government and within our press is becoming trite and completely ineffective.
• Balloon Boy’s parents. It is sad that the drive for fame blinded the parents to the consequences of the stunt to their children and potentially to those trying to “save” their son. (P.S. My addiction to Twitter had me right on top of the story. @JackGray(CNN) posted it and I turned the TV to CNN to watch and pray for the boy!)
• Tiger’s fall from grace. I know we are all sick of the story and the family should be able to deal with it in privacy. However, as a student of human behavior, I find it fascinating--famous or not famous. One or two “indiscretions” one could argue that might not be so uncommon. However, 12 to 18 indiscretions in a four year period? Also, many of those “indiscretions” were actually “relationships” not simply one night stands. I find it all fascinating—the double life and the power of money. A truly great case study.
• SwirlGirl is put on cholesterol lowering medicine. My only saving grace is that Anderson Cooper mentioned he was on Lipitor. Oddly, that makes me feels a little bit better.
• Kanye’s lack of common sense and humility.
• As I write this, a new story is explaining how a man stole the St. Jude’s Collection Money from a convenient store. That is pretty low.
• This year we lost many notable people: Ted Kennedy, Michael Jackson, Ed McMahon, Farah Fawcett, Patrick Swayze, John Hughes, Natasha Richardson, Brittany Murphy and so many more.
• Certain Hollywood heavies actually stick up for Roman Polanski. (Please read earlier blogs if you want to hear more of how I feel about Mr. Polanski. Actually, the topic of RP was my first blog.)
• The story of the Salvation Army worker who was killed during an attempted robbery is one of the saddest stories I’ve heard. It is one of the stories that leaves you asking "Why?" It happened Christmas Eve. If you haven’t heard about it, please search "thestar.com". I tried to add the link, but it did not work.
• Oprah calls it quits. Bummer, but I get it. I’ll elaborate in 2011.
I wish everyone a fantastic (dare I say better?) 2010!!
So, you can glean the worst of 2009 for me. Could there be a best after all of that? Yes, out of darkness there is always light. I don’t believe I’ve been one to take my friends and family for granted. However, when you are in the midst of foggy grief, endless trips to the hospital, making life decisions you’d never, ever wish upon anyone, you do truly realize how the connections you make in life are a true life support system for you. I’ve always been cognizant of how wonderful my friends and family are, but during that time, all their lights shined on for miles. I realized how blessed I truly am. So, personally, I’ve experienced the worst through loss and the best through the lights of all my friends and family.
Now, I need to lighten up the mood and share what I think is the Best and Worst of 2009 in the world around us. I tried to avoid many of the obvious choices, however, some are listed with my own twist!
Best of 2009—(not in any particular order):
The World of Entertainment
• LOST returns for a fantastic season! Thank you Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse. I’d also like to mention that Matthew Fox does not get enough credit for his acting. I know some people think his character is annoying—but I think his acting is on the mark!
• Seinfeld Reunion on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” - TV at its absolute best!!! Kudos to Larry David and the entire cast! If you are Seinfeld fan, it should not be missed! Now I just need Aaron Sorkin to film a semi-autobiographical sitcom so I can stop holding my breath for a “Sports Night” reunion!
• “The Hurt Locker”- I said it before, I’ll say it again—best movie of the year.
• Glee—although sometimes I think it crosses an unnecessary line—it is fresh and new for network TV!
• Bones – continues to entertain. I often drop one hour shows after about season three because they become uninteresting and formulaic. (Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy…) However, I still cannot get enough of Bones!!! Thanks to the amazing writing and the amazing cast!
• Friday Night Lights is still surviving!! Yipee! Why this show does not receive more nominations is beyond me. The writing and acting are fantastic!
• The Office—Jim and Pam’s Wedding! Woot! Woot!! Great fun!
• Community and Modern Family—great new sitcoms!
• Here’s What…@Bravo Andy hosts a weekly show!! Just wish it was on at 11pm vs. Midnight!! (Okay, so I’m getting older…..)
The World Outside of Entertainment
• Twitter(new to me as a user in ’09) At first, I didn’t get the purpose. Now that I get it, I’m addicted. Best three folks to follow: @HartHanson, @JoshMalina and @JackGrayCNN. Their wit and insight brighten my day.
• Our first African-American President is elected. Politics aside that was a great moment for American history. Even my staunch conservative uncle, who is not an Obama fan (Calling him “not a fan” is cushioning the reality of his dislike for Obama’s politics) sent an email on January 20, 2009 saying what a great day for the history of our country. Now we just need a woman president!! (Of course--only if she is the right person for the job!)
• A gutsy pilot, a plane and the Hudson River. Captain Sullenberger and Flight 1549—an amazing story that captivates us because we all fear flying at least a tad. This story gives us hope.
• Girl, 14, rescued after Yemeni plane crashes in Indian Ocean. This is a story I still cannot believe. A plane crashes into the ocean and everyone dies except one 14 year old girl. How does that happen? Truly a miracle! I hope she is doing well, I’m sure she can’t believe it herself.
• Jacoby Ellsbury Steals Home!!! How cool!!
• Los Angeles Anaheim Angels—Entire starting lineup bats at .300 or above at one point.
• My friend’s brother battles cancer and wins!!!
• My niece battles cancer and wins!!!
• Beyonce’s Grace.
• Connecting with friends on Facebook!
• My daughter takes a passionate interest in something……(See the Worst)
Worst of 2009 (Not in any particular order)
• Her passion? Justin Bieber. Don’t get me wrong, he seems like a very respectable, humble, nice young man. I just wish as much thought and concern went into her math homework as it does for strategically placing hundreds of Bieber pictures on her wall.
• Jay Leno continues his show. I won’t elaborate, previous blogs explain it all. (Ha Ha Time Magazine—I guess he didn’t change the face of television!)
• “Partisanship” within our government and within our press is becoming trite and completely ineffective.
• Balloon Boy’s parents. It is sad that the drive for fame blinded the parents to the consequences of the stunt to their children and potentially to those trying to “save” their son. (P.S. My addiction to Twitter had me right on top of the story. @JackGray(CNN) posted it and I turned the TV to CNN to watch and pray for the boy!)
• Tiger’s fall from grace. I know we are all sick of the story and the family should be able to deal with it in privacy. However, as a student of human behavior, I find it fascinating--famous or not famous. One or two “indiscretions” one could argue that might not be so uncommon. However, 12 to 18 indiscretions in a four year period? Also, many of those “indiscretions” were actually “relationships” not simply one night stands. I find it all fascinating—the double life and the power of money. A truly great case study.
• SwirlGirl is put on cholesterol lowering medicine. My only saving grace is that Anderson Cooper mentioned he was on Lipitor. Oddly, that makes me feels a little bit better.
• Kanye’s lack of common sense and humility.
• As I write this, a new story is explaining how a man stole the St. Jude’s Collection Money from a convenient store. That is pretty low.
• This year we lost many notable people: Ted Kennedy, Michael Jackson, Ed McMahon, Farah Fawcett, Patrick Swayze, John Hughes, Natasha Richardson, Brittany Murphy and so many more.
• Certain Hollywood heavies actually stick up for Roman Polanski. (Please read earlier blogs if you want to hear more of how I feel about Mr. Polanski. Actually, the topic of RP was my first blog.)
• The story of the Salvation Army worker who was killed during an attempted robbery is one of the saddest stories I’ve heard. It is one of the stories that leaves you asking "Why?" It happened Christmas Eve. If you haven’t heard about it, please search "thestar.com". I tried to add the link, but it did not work.
• Oprah calls it quits. Bummer, but I get it. I’ll elaborate in 2011.
I wish everyone a fantastic (dare I say better?) 2010!!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Money, Money, Money
Money is a controversial topic. People think some have too much and most think they do not have enough. I think money issues boil down to personal priorities. I also think people shouldn’t talk about their lack of money or their abundance of money. Money issues are all relative. A family that lives in house that costs $900,000 can be in as much debt or money troubles as a person who lives in a house that costs $100,000. Also, a person who lives in a $100,000 house may be in much better financial shape compared to someone who lives in a $900,000 house. It boils down to how you manage your money. My husband’s grandfather used to say “Just because you spend a lot of money, doesn’t mean you have a lot of money.”--So true.
What frustrates me most about money? People who complain about not having enough, yet they seem to have a lot of stuff. I believe you do not have the right to complain about not being able to afford this or that if you meet 2 of the following criteria:
1.You or your partner has NOT recently lost your job. (e.g. your income remains unchanged)
2.You own a Coach purse.
3.You go for manicures and/or pedicures more than twice per year.
4.Your child wears a pair of UGGs or Emus or any brand of boot that cost more than $80.
5.You have more than 1 computer in your house.
6.There are more than 2 iPods in your household.
7.You have a gaming system in your house.
8.You contribute to a college savings account.
9.You own a house with a 3 car garage or you own a 2nd home.
I actually think I’m being generous. I almost put, “if you own a house.” So, I’ve turned half of you off now, right? Well, read carefully. I’m not judging you if you meet all of these criteria. I meet 6 out of the 9 criteria. I don’t care what you spend your money on; I also don’t care if you spend beyond your means. What I care about is you being out of touch with society and complaining about not being able to afford a night out to dinner or a weekend away! It is all a matter of how you prioritize your spending. You can afford to eat out and go on a vacation—you just need to prioritize differently. Personally, second to the essential needs of life, vacation is my next priority. I’d live without furniture, new shoes, and yes even my iPod, to go on a vacation. (Truthfully, I’d live without my kids’ college savings fund—but that just wouldn’t be nice. Would it? Anyone?)
Now, many different types of people can meet 2 out the 9 above. I’m willing to bet I can find people who meet 2 out of the 9 above who live below the poverty line and of course, those who live well above the poverty line. This is what I mean by “it is all relative and comes down to how you spend your money.” What do you give top priority?
(Okay, no jokesters. I get it if you say you can’t afford a $10,000 African Safari or $50,000/year college tuition. Although, also relative, I might not get it if Paris Hilton says that while parading around in her $10,000 outfit!)
Some people have difficult choices to make every day. Choices likes “Can I afford the extra money to buy ingredients to make a birthday cake for my daughter? Or “Can I afford the $10 for my son to go on his school field trip? Those are the tough choices, not whether I can get a pedicure this week. I just think we get caught up in our own economic realities and forget what our problems might seem like to others.
I’m also not saying you should feel guilty about how you spend your money. You’ve worked hard for your money; you have the choice to spend it on whatever you want. Remember when you were a kid and you didn’t want to finish your meal? Your mom would say “There are people in Africa starving and you won’t eat.” “Well, I’m’ sorry mom. If I could Fedex this food to them I would, but I am full!” We do not need to feel guilty about what we have. (Whether we live in a society of excess is a different blog! Although, I will give you a clue as to how I feel. We do. And I am shamefully guilty of partaking in the excesses.) However, I do think if you can meet 2-3 of the above criteria—you should be socially conscious and donate some money to a worthy cause of your choice or at least pick at tag or two from a Giving Tree during the holidays.
I know, I sound judgmental. For those who know me, you know I hate to be judgmental. So I want to clarify my point—I don’t care if you get a pedicure twice a week—just don’t complain about not being able to buy your kids a school sweatshirt if you are getting pedicures twice a week!!! Do you get the point?
I think my feelings stem from growing up with my Dad. He would never say he couldn’t afford something. He grew up very poor. Breakfast for him consisted of coffee with crackers and lunch was mayonnaise between two pieces of bread. So, he worked hard to afford things for his family that he didn’t have as a child. So, as a matter of pride, I don’t think he uttered those words until the latter part of his life. (Even if he couldn’t afford something, he wouldn’t verbalize it)
Also, for those who know me, you know I am horrible at prioritizing my spending. The difference is, I will not complain about not having the money to do something. I may say I don’t think doing X is worth X amount of money. I’ll complain about the “value” of something or I might say, “I’m not willing to pay that.” Affording something is complex and personal. Some people consider they can “afford” it if they still have room on their credit card and others simple consider what they can “afford” by the amount of money in their bank account.
I guess it also comes down to honesty. I think some people use the words “I can’t afford it” as an excuse so they do not have to tell their friends, “I really don’t want to do that.” I guess if you fall into that boat, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m always for honesty, it is not always easy. I’d just come up with a better excuse.
Bottom line, be thankful for what you have and if you want something, think about how you can manage your money to get it!
What frustrates me most about money? People who complain about not having enough, yet they seem to have a lot of stuff. I believe you do not have the right to complain about not being able to afford this or that if you meet 2 of the following criteria:
1.You or your partner has NOT recently lost your job. (e.g. your income remains unchanged)
2.You own a Coach purse.
3.You go for manicures and/or pedicures more than twice per year.
4.Your child wears a pair of UGGs or Emus or any brand of boot that cost more than $80.
5.You have more than 1 computer in your house.
6.There are more than 2 iPods in your household.
7.You have a gaming system in your house.
8.You contribute to a college savings account.
9.You own a house with a 3 car garage or you own a 2nd home.
I actually think I’m being generous. I almost put, “if you own a house.” So, I’ve turned half of you off now, right? Well, read carefully. I’m not judging you if you meet all of these criteria. I meet 6 out of the 9 criteria. I don’t care what you spend your money on; I also don’t care if you spend beyond your means. What I care about is you being out of touch with society and complaining about not being able to afford a night out to dinner or a weekend away! It is all a matter of how you prioritize your spending. You can afford to eat out and go on a vacation—you just need to prioritize differently. Personally, second to the essential needs of life, vacation is my next priority. I’d live without furniture, new shoes, and yes even my iPod, to go on a vacation. (Truthfully, I’d live without my kids’ college savings fund—but that just wouldn’t be nice. Would it? Anyone?)
Now, many different types of people can meet 2 out the 9 above. I’m willing to bet I can find people who meet 2 out of the 9 above who live below the poverty line and of course, those who live well above the poverty line. This is what I mean by “it is all relative and comes down to how you spend your money.” What do you give top priority?
(Okay, no jokesters. I get it if you say you can’t afford a $10,000 African Safari or $50,000/year college tuition. Although, also relative, I might not get it if Paris Hilton says that while parading around in her $10,000 outfit!)
Some people have difficult choices to make every day. Choices likes “Can I afford the extra money to buy ingredients to make a birthday cake for my daughter? Or “Can I afford the $10 for my son to go on his school field trip? Those are the tough choices, not whether I can get a pedicure this week. I just think we get caught up in our own economic realities and forget what our problems might seem like to others.
I’m also not saying you should feel guilty about how you spend your money. You’ve worked hard for your money; you have the choice to spend it on whatever you want. Remember when you were a kid and you didn’t want to finish your meal? Your mom would say “There are people in Africa starving and you won’t eat.” “Well, I’m’ sorry mom. If I could Fedex this food to them I would, but I am full!” We do not need to feel guilty about what we have. (Whether we live in a society of excess is a different blog! Although, I will give you a clue as to how I feel. We do. And I am shamefully guilty of partaking in the excesses.) However, I do think if you can meet 2-3 of the above criteria—you should be socially conscious and donate some money to a worthy cause of your choice or at least pick at tag or two from a Giving Tree during the holidays.
I know, I sound judgmental. For those who know me, you know I hate to be judgmental. So I want to clarify my point—I don’t care if you get a pedicure twice a week—just don’t complain about not being able to buy your kids a school sweatshirt if you are getting pedicures twice a week!!! Do you get the point?
I think my feelings stem from growing up with my Dad. He would never say he couldn’t afford something. He grew up very poor. Breakfast for him consisted of coffee with crackers and lunch was mayonnaise between two pieces of bread. So, he worked hard to afford things for his family that he didn’t have as a child. So, as a matter of pride, I don’t think he uttered those words until the latter part of his life. (Even if he couldn’t afford something, he wouldn’t verbalize it)
Also, for those who know me, you know I am horrible at prioritizing my spending. The difference is, I will not complain about not having the money to do something. I may say I don’t think doing X is worth X amount of money. I’ll complain about the “value” of something or I might say, “I’m not willing to pay that.” Affording something is complex and personal. Some people consider they can “afford” it if they still have room on their credit card and others simple consider what they can “afford” by the amount of money in their bank account.
I guess it also comes down to honesty. I think some people use the words “I can’t afford it” as an excuse so they do not have to tell their friends, “I really don’t want to do that.” I guess if you fall into that boat, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m always for honesty, it is not always easy. I’d just come up with a better excuse.
Bottom line, be thankful for what you have and if you want something, think about how you can manage your money to get it!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
November Thoughts
Women Attacked by Chimp Sues CT for $150,000
I think this chimp attack was horrific. I do not know the chimp owner—but based on some stories that appeared in the press, I don’t think it is a stretch to say she had an unusual love for her chimp. I also do not know the woman attacked, however, from what I’ve read she was the woman’s friend and she often visited the woman and her chimp. In my opinion, if you frequently visited the chimp, it is questionable as to how fair is to now say the state should’ve taken action sooner.
Do I think the state should’ve taken action sooner? Probably. If they were aware of the chimp and the chimp’s escapades, action might have been a good idea. Let’s face it; you don’t usually see chimps driving cars. Alone. By themselves. Without a human in the car. With a human in the car, perhaps, but without, never.
I think this lawsuit now stands in a long line of lawsuits in our country that answers the question “Do you think we have a case?” vs. “Does it make sense and is this right thing to do?” I wonder what the victim’s opinion of her friend’s pet was prior to the accident. If she did visit the friend often, I’m led to believe she liked the chimp and supported her friend.
I know the victim’s life, and her family’s life, has been changed forever. I want you know, I feel for her and wish her the best. I just don’t think suing the state for $150,000,000 is the right answer. I understand that lawsuits like this one potentially serve a valiant purpose. “…if we sue the state now, hopefully this will not happen to another person.” I get that, but start with a lower number. This number just makes the suit seem ridiculous. It does get attention and perhaps that is the point However, aren’t we all becoming desensitized to sensationalism?
Obama and Fox News
Stop crying Mr. President and Mr. President’s staff. I don’t like Fox News either, but thank God, our Forefathers, Veterans, Soldiers and every American that came before us, that we live in a country with FREEDOM of SPEECH! Don’t get all dictatorship on us! George Bush didn’t wine about MSNBC ‘s Olberman , Maddow and others. We having an expression in our family when we think someone is becoming too sensitive about a topic…we simply say “SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. To the current administration, I say “SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.”
News In General
Okay, as I said in “Obama and Fox News”, I don’t care for Fox News. I should specifically say I don’t care for certain commentators (their not newscasters, remember) like Sean Hannity and Glen Beck. In fairness, I also do not care for MSNBC’s Keith Olberman and Rachel Maddow. They are all extremely “closed-minded”. Yes, even liberals can be closed-minded. When all you see is what you want to see—you have closed your mind. These people “act” as if we live in a black and white world—well we don’t. I wish people would get over that. We live in a world of gray. There are always, at least, two sides to every story. This type of media divides our country. They “rally” their troops with their sensationalized thoughts and ideas. Rush Limbaugh is the worst. In fact, he is in a category all to himself. He presents his thoughts and ideas with rancid venom. I wish as a nation, as humans, we could just try to look at every issue from multiple perspectives and then come to our OWN conclusions.
So, I don’t watch either of the networks mentioned. If I want “news” I rely on CNN for news (not commentary), my local stations, the internet and yes, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.
Parenting in the Age of the Internet
Okay parents, time to get a grip. (My kids absolutely hate when I say “get a grip”) Our children are growing up within a different time and culture. Is it good or bad? It really doesn’t matter because IT IS. We need to adapt. We also need to pay attention to every teachable moment. As parents, we still influence behavior. Are you on FaceBook? If not, you should be. Join it because it is fun and you will learn a great deal about the generation creeping up behind us. I am friends with my kids on FaceBook. It was a condition for them to open their accounts. I have not asked one of their friends to be my friend. Many of my friends did ask my children to be their friends. I told my kids, they only needed to accept my friendship request; they do not have to accept my friends. (They did, but I will say, a little hesitantly).
Since I am friends with them, I can often see pictures from other friends. (I don’t know if everyone realizes this, but if one of my friends is tagged in a photo, I receive notification.) So, I’ve witnessed cruel and crass comments made by other middle/high schoolers on some photos. I use those instances as “teachable moments”. I start a discussion with my kids and explain why I think the comments are inappropriate. They roll their eyes and say “But Mom, we didn’t make the comments.” I explain that we are having the discussion in hopes they that never do make such comments. I heard one parent describing her displeasure regarding the discipline her daughter received at school with respect to something she posted on Facebook. Perhaps the punishment was too harsh, I don’t know. However, never did I hear the Mom say “I know my daughter shouldn’t have posted it, and we discussed why it was wrong.” Hopefully, this did happen. I live by a philosophy at home and work, when something negative happens, one of the first questions you should ask yourself is “How did I contribute to this situation?” As parents, as wonderful as we think our children are—we need to ask “How did they contribute to this situation.” We need to teach accountability. I see parents often excusing their kid’s behavior. You have to call your kids on behavior you don’t like. You have to model the behavior you want.
Okay, I’m going to stop here, because I’m feeling too preachy. I’m not trying to preach and God knows, I’m not an expert at parenting. I don’t think that expertise exists. All we can do is our best attempt at raising responsible, accountable and respectful adults. (Now that is a job that deserves a bonus!)
Oh wait…I want to share a few things I’ve learned about the generation creeping up behind us. (This is not all from being friends with my kids, but I am friends with other family members of a young age too)
• They are not afraid to post swears on line for all to see. Don’t get me wrong, I swore in high school too (in fact, I still do sometimes) I just knew when and where to swear. I didn’t swear in front of adults, teachers, children, in public at the grocery store for all to hear….which is essentially the same thing as posting it on FaceBook.
• Girls are very insecure. When their friends post pictures they have to profess how gorgeous the girl is over and over and over again. I’ve actually seen “I wish I was as pretty as you.” Gag me with a spoon!!! (Okay, yes, I am that old). One thread of multiple girls praising the beauty of another girl really made me sad. Reasons it made me sad: One, that they valued looks so much; two that they seemed not to value their own looks; and three, that the praise for this girl almost seemed to come from a “needy” state. They “needed” to praise her to feel good or to be accepted.
• Young kids post way too much about their love lives. They profess their love, their fears, their needs, etc. Keep this between you, your boyfriend and your CLOSE friends, not the entire world on FB! (Don’t get me wrong, I like reading it—but really, some things should not be for public consumption)
• Kids are unintentionally hurtful. (Yes, some are intentionally hurtful but that is another story). For a generation growing up with wonderful technology, they don’t seem to get it. I’ve seen someone mention by name a girl that they apparently didn’t think to be pretty. (solely based on the comment made, which I will not repeat) The person who named this girl most likely was not FB friends with the girl. However, like I said, I had access to these posts because my niece was in one of the pictures. I was able to view the pictures and all the comments. I’m sure the girl that was named, who was in their grade eventually had the same access through one of her friends. (Another great teachable moment)
Okay, now I’m really done!
I think this chimp attack was horrific. I do not know the chimp owner—but based on some stories that appeared in the press, I don’t think it is a stretch to say she had an unusual love for her chimp. I also do not know the woman attacked, however, from what I’ve read she was the woman’s friend and she often visited the woman and her chimp. In my opinion, if you frequently visited the chimp, it is questionable as to how fair is to now say the state should’ve taken action sooner.
Do I think the state should’ve taken action sooner? Probably. If they were aware of the chimp and the chimp’s escapades, action might have been a good idea. Let’s face it; you don’t usually see chimps driving cars. Alone. By themselves. Without a human in the car. With a human in the car, perhaps, but without, never.
I think this lawsuit now stands in a long line of lawsuits in our country that answers the question “Do you think we have a case?” vs. “Does it make sense and is this right thing to do?” I wonder what the victim’s opinion of her friend’s pet was prior to the accident. If she did visit the friend often, I’m led to believe she liked the chimp and supported her friend.
I know the victim’s life, and her family’s life, has been changed forever. I want you know, I feel for her and wish her the best. I just don’t think suing the state for $150,000,000 is the right answer. I understand that lawsuits like this one potentially serve a valiant purpose. “…if we sue the state now, hopefully this will not happen to another person.” I get that, but start with a lower number. This number just makes the suit seem ridiculous. It does get attention and perhaps that is the point However, aren’t we all becoming desensitized to sensationalism?
Obama and Fox News
Stop crying Mr. President and Mr. President’s staff. I don’t like Fox News either, but thank God, our Forefathers, Veterans, Soldiers and every American that came before us, that we live in a country with FREEDOM of SPEECH! Don’t get all dictatorship on us! George Bush didn’t wine about MSNBC ‘s Olberman , Maddow and others. We having an expression in our family when we think someone is becoming too sensitive about a topic…we simply say “SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. To the current administration, I say “SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.”
News In General
Okay, as I said in “Obama and Fox News”, I don’t care for Fox News. I should specifically say I don’t care for certain commentators (their not newscasters, remember) like Sean Hannity and Glen Beck. In fairness, I also do not care for MSNBC’s Keith Olberman and Rachel Maddow. They are all extremely “closed-minded”. Yes, even liberals can be closed-minded. When all you see is what you want to see—you have closed your mind. These people “act” as if we live in a black and white world—well we don’t. I wish people would get over that. We live in a world of gray. There are always, at least, two sides to every story. This type of media divides our country. They “rally” their troops with their sensationalized thoughts and ideas. Rush Limbaugh is the worst. In fact, he is in a category all to himself. He presents his thoughts and ideas with rancid venom. I wish as a nation, as humans, we could just try to look at every issue from multiple perspectives and then come to our OWN conclusions.
So, I don’t watch either of the networks mentioned. If I want “news” I rely on CNN for news (not commentary), my local stations, the internet and yes, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.
Parenting in the Age of the Internet
Okay parents, time to get a grip. (My kids absolutely hate when I say “get a grip”) Our children are growing up within a different time and culture. Is it good or bad? It really doesn’t matter because IT IS. We need to adapt. We also need to pay attention to every teachable moment. As parents, we still influence behavior. Are you on FaceBook? If not, you should be. Join it because it is fun and you will learn a great deal about the generation creeping up behind us. I am friends with my kids on FaceBook. It was a condition for them to open their accounts. I have not asked one of their friends to be my friend. Many of my friends did ask my children to be their friends. I told my kids, they only needed to accept my friendship request; they do not have to accept my friends. (They did, but I will say, a little hesitantly).
Since I am friends with them, I can often see pictures from other friends. (I don’t know if everyone realizes this, but if one of my friends is tagged in a photo, I receive notification.) So, I’ve witnessed cruel and crass comments made by other middle/high schoolers on some photos. I use those instances as “teachable moments”. I start a discussion with my kids and explain why I think the comments are inappropriate. They roll their eyes and say “But Mom, we didn’t make the comments.” I explain that we are having the discussion in hopes they that never do make such comments. I heard one parent describing her displeasure regarding the discipline her daughter received at school with respect to something she posted on Facebook. Perhaps the punishment was too harsh, I don’t know. However, never did I hear the Mom say “I know my daughter shouldn’t have posted it, and we discussed why it was wrong.” Hopefully, this did happen. I live by a philosophy at home and work, when something negative happens, one of the first questions you should ask yourself is “How did I contribute to this situation?” As parents, as wonderful as we think our children are—we need to ask “How did they contribute to this situation.” We need to teach accountability. I see parents often excusing their kid’s behavior. You have to call your kids on behavior you don’t like. You have to model the behavior you want.
Okay, I’m going to stop here, because I’m feeling too preachy. I’m not trying to preach and God knows, I’m not an expert at parenting. I don’t think that expertise exists. All we can do is our best attempt at raising responsible, accountable and respectful adults. (Now that is a job that deserves a bonus!)
Oh wait…I want to share a few things I’ve learned about the generation creeping up behind us. (This is not all from being friends with my kids, but I am friends with other family members of a young age too)
• They are not afraid to post swears on line for all to see. Don’t get me wrong, I swore in high school too (in fact, I still do sometimes) I just knew when and where to swear. I didn’t swear in front of adults, teachers, children, in public at the grocery store for all to hear….which is essentially the same thing as posting it on FaceBook.
• Girls are very insecure. When their friends post pictures they have to profess how gorgeous the girl is over and over and over again. I’ve actually seen “I wish I was as pretty as you.” Gag me with a spoon!!! (Okay, yes, I am that old). One thread of multiple girls praising the beauty of another girl really made me sad. Reasons it made me sad: One, that they valued looks so much; two that they seemed not to value their own looks; and three, that the praise for this girl almost seemed to come from a “needy” state. They “needed” to praise her to feel good or to be accepted.
• Young kids post way too much about their love lives. They profess their love, their fears, their needs, etc. Keep this between you, your boyfriend and your CLOSE friends, not the entire world on FB! (Don’t get me wrong, I like reading it—but really, some things should not be for public consumption)
• Kids are unintentionally hurtful. (Yes, some are intentionally hurtful but that is another story). For a generation growing up with wonderful technology, they don’t seem to get it. I’ve seen someone mention by name a girl that they apparently didn’t think to be pretty. (solely based on the comment made, which I will not repeat) The person who named this girl most likely was not FB friends with the girl. However, like I said, I had access to these posts because my niece was in one of the pictures. I was able to view the pictures and all the comments. I’m sure the girl that was named, who was in their grade eventually had the same access through one of her friends. (Another great teachable moment)
Okay, now I’m really done!
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